Sunday, January 11, 2009

Ring, Ring, Ring goes my eardrum...

I just got back from a LOUD Rock and Roll concert with Dan and our friends. Dan's Dad plays bass in a band called Road Rage - and they ROCK. We sat right up front, and got our eardrums blasted out. I have been to many a loud concert before, but I don't ever recall my ears feeling like they are going to explode. I have been sitting here, putting my finger up to my ear expecting to find blood on it. This hurts.

Before going to the concert we went to a restaurant/bar with another couple, and I only had 345 calories left for the day. This "restaurant" did not have ANYTHING not doused in cheesy marinara fat sausage sauce. Though the Italian in me really would have loved to chow down on some spaghetti and meatballs... it just wasn't in the cards.

Do you want to know what I hate? I hate it when you actually HAVE the willpower to say "no" to bad foods, and people berate you for it.

"Come on, just ONE bite?"

"Really, you're not going to have any? But it's SO good!"

"Come on, I'm gonna shove this pizza in your mouth!"

And I know those people are the same freaking people who talk about me some other night when I DO decide to eat pizza, and say to each other, "Wow, she really has gained weight. Maybe she shouldn't eat so much pizza."

Now, I am not quoting that as fact, and it's probably my insecurities peeking through (in a forceful way...) - but that's just how I feel. People who don't struggle with their weight, or those who don't battle the bulge, just don't get it.

Listen. It's hard enough to fight my own temptations inside this squirrely, crazy maze, deep-fried-cheese and donut loving brain of mine, let alone having to deal with other people trying to shove food down my throat.

And on that note, I'll share what I DID have for dinner when we got home:

Health Nut bread with turkey, light mayo, mustard, mushrooms, spinach leaves, American cheese and organic pea sprouts. DELICIOUS! (Oh, and grapes.) :)


Cheryl said...

Looks yummy. And Good For You! (meaning that both ways) Chances are that those people aren't talking behind your back about how fat you are - unless they are your parents. But we're all paranoid like that, aren't we? LOL

Adara Scarlet said...

That sandwich looks soooo good.

I can totally relate to the attitudes of other people when you're trying to diet. Why not support someone who is exercising willpower to get what they want in life? I had the same problem when I was on a real (non-bulimic) diet. My friends practically lived at Denny's and they would get so annoyed when I'd just order a diet soda and then go home and eat something with countable calories. I think a good response when people do that is to act the same way about the food they are eating. My friends used to tell me I was starving myself (it's a freaking diet, not starvation) or unhealthy and that I should just lighten up. Well, what do you think is less healthy? A diet soda and a lean cuisine later or a moons over my hammy dripping with grease served alongside covered and smothered hash browns? So that was my rebuttal when people would do the whole "c'mon, eat a fry!" thing or even claim they were worried I was going to become anorexic... I'd just remind them the insane amount of fat in restaurant foods and the complete lack of proper nutrition, and if they said they were worried I might become anorexic I'd say I was worried they might become obese. Obesity is just as dangerous as any eating disorder. :P