I have some now.
Dan and I do a family vacation every July. Here are some comparison photos. Notice the hotness in 2006, and the not-hotness in 2008. The 2nd 2008 photo, I'm cleverly hiding behind his mom.
![](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m1/jennybeanjcb/Vacation1.jpg)
![](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m1/jennybeanjcb/Vacation2.jpg)
![](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m1/jennybeanjcb/785764598208_0_BG.jpg)
And since we all know the "turn to the side and twist to make yourself look thinner" move, here's a straight-on view of me from the trip with Dan and our little niece.
![](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m1/jennybeanjcb/DSC_3463.jpg)
That is my most recent "before" photo. I remember that being around 200 lbs... and I'm around 218 right now. My friends say I don't look as fat as I do in this photo... but I also can't really believe them. ;)
And for your oogling pleasure, some photos of how skinny I used to be (pardon the oddness... these are on my fridge for inspiration and I just took pictures of them on my fridge.):
![](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m1/jennybeanjcb/DSC_3467.jpg)
![](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m1/jennybeanjcb/DSC_3466.jpg)
![](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m1/jennybeanjcb/DSC_3468.jpg)
2003-2005 was probably the peak of my hotness.
Vacation with family to Oregon in 2003:
![](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m1/jennybeanjcb/P1010143.jpg)
This was a fun time with Jesse and I, where we did "We Both Reached For The Gun" at a party (2005):
![](http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m1/jennybeanjcb/P1030198.jpg)
2003-2005 was post breakup with that guy I posted about in my first blog post. It's interesting that during this time I was (sort of) seeing this guy who I had wanted since high school, and who would not commit to me. I felt it was an issue of my not being good enough, and so I was the most strict Atkins dieter you ever saw. And I kept the weight off for that whole time. This was the ONLY time in my life I ever heard "you're starting to get too thin." (from my mother.)
It's funny. Sometimes I just wish I was feeling inadequate enough to starve myself silly again. (Though Atkins was not starving, you get my point.)
I just feel like I'll NEVER get to that weight again, and it makes me want to puke and cry simultaneously.
~J (for my 239048309th post today.)
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