Friday, October 9, 2009

Lauren makes me wanna Ralph.

Quick update before the real issue at hand:

100-day blowout thinggie update...
  • I weighed in at 187.8 this morning, but it's that TOM, so I'm rolling with it.
  • Not doing so well on the water front. Coffee and tea, and some Crystal Light, and a little vodka. I need to drink more water.
In other update news:
  • I went to the gym and did a Zumba class for the first time in 2 months. It's a shame, but I finally got my ass over there and it was fun. I'm sore.
  • I bought a jump rope online. I can't wait to start using it. It's my goal to jump rope at least three times a week.
Also, I got my Halloween costume. It's awesome:

I thought I'd have to order a plus size, as I blogged about earlier. When I did some research it appeared I was exactly between the large in "regular" costumes, and the smallest size in the Plus Size costumes. Piiiiissed! It's such a shitteous place to be, weight wise:

(Oh, by the way, I'm doing this costume, with the makeup style I showed there below the costumes, but with this wig:)

So, I took a chance since I should be a little smaller by Halloween and ordered the large in "normal" costumes, which says it fits up to a 14. I tried it on, and it fits! The dress is much longer than it appears in these photos (or I have a child's length torso), and the only thing I might have a slight bit of trouble with is the striped part on the "sleeve." I still have wobbly old bag arms and it could spell disaster. It's like having mini muffintops on my arms. Just eew. So, I pulled them up all the way to my armpit and it's doable. I'm gonna have to do a crapton of pushups and lift some weights and do chair dips for the next three weeks. Yes, I know, I know, you can't "spot tone" but dammit, I'm gonna try anyway.

And now for what this is really all about. I just can't help myself. I HAVE to post about this.

I don't know if you guys subscribe to Photoshop Disasters (who I heard about through Swish Embassy - if you support the LGBT community you should check out and follow them,) or read any of the great blogs like Jezebel, but if you do, you've likely already seen this. If not, I'm sharing it with you.

Now you guys know how I feel about altering women's bodies (or men's, or whomever) with photoshop. I'm a photographer, and I know how things work in the world of advertising and magazines, and how it's all bullshit. People ask me sometimes to alter their bodies, and for the most part, I won't do it. I'll flatten an occasional pudge if there is a bit more than usual sticking out because of a pose I have the person in, but I will not make your waist smaller, I won't make your eyes bigger, and I won't shrink your muffin top. I think it's wrong, and I think there is beauty and value in everyone, just as they are.

Ralph Lauren, on the other hand, are a bunch of delusional assholes.

I'm not even going to touch the moron who edited this photo, but I want to know who the hell approved it. How could any reasonable human being who sees other human beings on a regular basis, and even sees super thin super models on a regular basis, could ever, EVER think this even remotely looks right? The ironic thing to me is... if they took measurements on this model, then cut them down to the size they made her appear, Ralph Lauren doesn't even come close to making clothes that small. Their smallest clothes in women's sizes are for a size X-Small, which equates to a U.S. size 2, and fits a size 25" waist.

Let me say it one more time, just so it's really, really clear:

Magazine editors, advertisers and all those other ass-hats are careless, selfish, greedy prick, buttfool douche nozzles. Do NOT look at these images and think you should come anywhere close to what they look like. Take this as harsh proof that it's all a lie, and you're gorgeous, curvy, real, naturally slim, bootylicious, chunkeriffic, thin, average, curly, straight, kinky, delicious and every other thing.

Love yourself.



notasecretagent said...

Uuuuugh, I saw an article about that ad earlier this week, and it made me furious. The ad, not the article. The article was actually really good, and was about Boing Boing putting it up on their site and bitching about what a POS it was. Then Ralph Lauren threatened to sue them if they didn't take it down, and Cory Doctorow wrote them a bitchslap of a blog post in response (, and it made me happy. w00t.

Someone also recently linked me to this, which is old but I still like:

ARJules said...

Don't you love it when things fit when you didn't expect them to? Best thing evah!

I had not seen that ad, but who on earth would actually think that looks normal?! She looks like one of those stretch dolls, or a gumby. I hate the whole photoshopping thing. And I think it is awesome that you don't do it. I saw some of your pictures today and they are flippin' amazing! If ever get married again, I'm calling you. (I'll try not to pelt you with questions about how you get certain images to look like they do.:)


Kristen said...

Wow, you just reminded me, I have all my decorations both inside and outside the house but I don't have my costume yet! plus I still need to buy candy but I got the little treat bags so I don't hand out too much like I have done (whistles to herself). Anyway, thank you again for mentioning how designers,magazines, advertisements are trying to deform our minds and how we see ourselves. I mean, holy cow that girl look like a skeleton..with skin...but barely. Hope you have a great weekend : )

M said...

She looks more like "Anna Rexia"

Farah said...

Been reading your blog for a while. Love your photos. And I've never heard anyone insult someone in quite such a fabulous way!! Happy good-habit forming with your health-battle. :) I'm not doing so hot on mine the last week or so, so its inspiring to hear about your success. Loved this post! Have fun with your costume!

Unknown said...

bits... and pieces... first, i got the same costume a few years ago and it was too much fun! i can't wait to see your pics!

ralph lauren is a disgusting person- there is nothing nothing nothing sexy about her at all. i'm ashamed at him and his media 'stunt crew'. gross gross gross. i think all of ralph lauren needs an intervention- their heads are so far up each others asses they have lost touch with reality!

ok, soapboxing done. love you jenn and love that you love yourself enough to not look like that (and not be afraid to blog about it!!) and for not photoshopping someone's character away!!!!

Anonymous said...

I saw this on Jezebel and I was sooo disgusted! I cannot believe anyone would approve this pic and think this is how their ideal picture should look like... I don't buy RL clothes anyways and I will keep doing so!

Anonymous said...

A. Congrats on the Halloween NSV. You're kicking ass.

B. I admit to begging my photographer friend to photoshop a double chin once. EEK! She did a shoot of my fam just before my daughter was born - family shots, belly shots, all that stuff. And there was one that was beautiful, and I'm looking down and loving on my big old pregnant belly and I love how I felt when she took it. but when I looked, all I could see were the chins. So, she took the edge off of that for me.

Does that mean I don't get the pants?

ANYHOO, I'm sending the link to this post to my bff. Her daughter is 13, and my bff is working very very hard to help her get through the teen years with a positive self image. She's a healthy curvy size 12 among a bunch of rail thin, no boobs yet, other 13 year olds. So, natch, she thinks she's fat and is pissed she can't wear stuff from Hollister like the other girls can.

Long comment. Um. I guess what I'm trying to say? Great post.


~Kristen~ said...

Oh my ... I had heard on the radio people talking about the ad but I had yet to see the pic! Your right, I don't see how anyone with 1/2 a brain could look at that pic and not thing something was off. Nothing like making people more self conscious if they have a little booty or a lot of booty.

I love the costume! I had a baby doll outfit I did for a work party a few years ago and it was fun. Congrats on finding out you are now at a smaller size ... yipe!!!! Can't wait to see pics ;-)

NJ said...

That picture is ridiculous. Honestly!

Love your halloween costume.

Laura said...

If you took this models clothes off she would look like a stick figure in the hangman game..seriously..women cant possibly be anything but disgusted when they see this ad. Thank goodness ..we are starting to be more aware of the damage this type of marketing has done to our little girls and hopefully we are smart enough now to just chuck that crap in the round file!

Angel Lopez said...

You know, I was at the movies this past weekend to see Zombieland and that model looks just like a character from one of the trailers! It was for a movie called Legion and she has the EXACT same long thin arms and long thin legs that one of the bad guys had! Too bad the person I'm referring to is a stretched out demon. Yup. She looks disgusting, demonic, and in no way what an attractive or healthy woman should look like. The rest of that trailer looked cool though. :)

By the way, I'm totally going to steal "douche nozzles." Thank you for that!

Anonymous said...

That picture is disgusting, she looks like a bobble-head doll. I don't LIKE being fat, but I wouldn't trade with someone SUPERSKINNY, cause I wouldn't like that either.

Notice however that in their gross attempt to make her "better" they also attempted to give her curves that a girl that tiny would never have! That is because women look BETTER with curves!!!!

I would rather have my Rubenesque figure,than aim at being a stick figure.

Mimi at a random said...

lol ... thanks for sharing ... you totaly made my day... its sad really how society can push that image on us... no wonder most teen girl, young girls oh hell all people not looking like that! Are so depressed. Starving them selfs, cutting them selfs because they dont think they are good enough. well this is proof that it is a bunch of bull. thank you so much for sharing.
Mimi at a random

Quincifer said...

Here here!
That is actually ridiculous, you can see straight away that her hips are too much smaller than her shoulders to make it humanly possibly to look like that.

Christy said...

So, as a photographer, where do you (personally) draw the line? Covering up blemishes? I got my wedding photos back, and was stunned by what I saw. I got married last November, at my heaviest ... and oh! how heavy I was! My face was almost unrecognizable to me. Isn't it funny how self-image works? Somehow, I had been able to deny how heavy I'd gotten, how much difference the weight made in how I looked and felt.

Anyway, the photos were photoshopped. My skin was flawless. He mentioned that he would do that, still, I wasn't quite prepared for the result. They looked magazine-quality, except for the fat.

I'd be lying if I said that I was happy with the way the photos looked. I tend to be non-photogenic. Usually, my favorite pictures of myself were taken by myself or by my husband, as I am more myself around him than anyone I know. These are the pictures in which I can stop being self-conscious in front of the camera. My spirit can shine thru.

The photographer got ONE of these pictures of me, by myself, where my eyes were open, where I was smiling nicely, and where my face was open and relaxed, bathed in the glow of a Kauai sunset (I'm one of those people who always blinks during pictures or makes some face unconsciously).

There is also a visible fat roll ... and my double chins are just out-of-control. Although I feel like, that we should all learn to love ourselves for where we're at (and for the most part, I do) I'd be lying if I said I hadn't seriously considered getting a few of my wedding pictures digitally slimmed -- you know, just to help with the worst parts.

These are supposed to be pictures that I'll cherish forever. Of course, I can look at them and remember the happiness that came to marrying the man I've loved for so many years ...

but it's not my face.

Katie said...

Love the costume idea. Im the maid of honor in a Halloween wedding. The bride picked black dresses for the formal ceromony. I didnt want to spend 150$ on a dress I would wear for 2 hours. So I decided I would make my costume, for the reception, around my dress. I decided on Homicidal Prom Queen. I'm sooo looking forward to Halloween this year :)

MMM said...

It doesn't even look real! Why would they have been ok with it? I agree, who oked this ad???? Were they blind? I just think that its a shame this ad even ran. How has Mr. Lauren and company responded to this?

Deez Nailz - Canadas most fabulous hand model said...

A+ on this post - It's so sad the advertising world has become this.

I refuse to purchase products from companies who use photos like this to market their products, even before these ridiculous and totally un-realistic types of photos & photo-shopping were brought into the spotlight.

This was a great blog post. You took the words "buttfool douche nozzles" right out of my mouth!

notasecretagent said...

@Mommy2Joe - Hollister is the devil! Aaaaack that store is so awful. I walked in there once, a sales kid shouted at me (over the far-too-loud music... wow, I sound old. I'm only 27, Hollister), "YOU SHOULD WEAR OUR JEANS!! THEY'LL MAKE YOU LOOK SKINNY!" and I turned around and walked right back out. Barf.

I hope your friend's daughter can hang in there until her friends catch up with her a bit. Those years are so hard!

Lisa Ursu said...

Thanks for this post. I had to do something with my outrage, so I submitted a comment on the Ralph Lauren website. Much better now.
Hey, isn't Zumba a video game?

usernamessuckfully said...

Hey so i was looking at the photo and it was quite sickening to think that we are being told to look like this. I stopped buying magazines at about 18 when i realised it was ridiculous to look up to these famous models. I am 20 now but when i was growing up i was that skinny girl i still am and because of these models people think its cool and just so isn't. I also kind of feel sorry for the girl i bet she isn't feeling all the great about the sudden weight loss.

GirlBoyGirl said...

when I first came across your blog and loved it, I must have went retarded because I didn't hit the follow button. All this time I've been wondering when the hell you were going to make a new post that would show up in my blog feed and today it finally occured to me that maybe I didn't "follow."

Anyway, I LOVE LOVE LOVE photoshop disasters. When I came across that website a year and a half ago I was just in tears laughing at how some of these images could have been approved to print.

It sucks that you are in that awkward weight loss stage where you sit in the middle between plus sized and regular sized. It's like that awkward stage when people try to grow out a mushroom cut and they have to endure a really terrible mullet for a while.

I am in that stage all the time. It's frustrating. Why can't I just wake up a size 8 tomorrow?

The Insatiable Host said...

Who woulda' thunk that Gumby was a Trani? I mean in this day and age when we learn that the iconic figures of our childhood are now coming out of the closet, we delve deeper into this new revelation. As for media portraying women as if they were meant for a light dusting of skin without form IT MAKES ME WANT TO EAT A GIANT PIZZA!!! seriously. I get hungry for these poor starved models! The great thing is, perhaps maybe...just maybe there will be a day where clarity and rationality will pass these editors minds. Perhaps they will ses just how disgusting this girl looks and re-think the ad??? Whatever the case may be - I do hope that this add will fall right beside a food advertisement for something rich and delicous!!

As for Halloween Costumes, I literally just came from the post office to pick my ebay purchase up. I will be known as the Pirate Beer Wench and secretly can't wait...Dan'll shit a lollypop when he sees this. I am not sure if it's loss of weight, or new found confidence from lastnights ego boost; but I look "mighty purdy for a lil' lassy...arrrrr"

Love the Raggidy Ann in black and white! I think it'll be amazing!!

Kelly said...

Hi Jen,
First time commenter. New to this whole thing, really. Just wanted to say that I love your blog. It's creative, insightful, witty and most importantly hilarious. Keep up the good work.

nancy said...

I love the outfit, but unfotunately the photoshop has made her look like one of those Denver art displays of a longated human form that looks like and alien. Uuuggghhh!


Skittles said...

whoa she's skinny, a little too skinny. I say thanks god they photoshopped her, because if she was like that in real life her waist would snap like a twig.

Hopefull Phoenix said...

Congrats on standing up to all this! As a stylist, it always pisses me off to see it in print. At my former boutique, I always had to help women get over the pictures. Perfectly gorgeous NORMAL ladies eating the strangest stuff and refusing to live.
My ex put me through it all as well. I am barely getting over the fact that a soft size 4 is NOT obese as he ever so sweetly used to tell me.
He was a wanna be photographer / stylist and really something else.
Have fun on Halloween! Your costume is amazing!

~layner~ said...

I can't even imagine anyone, male or female, would find that attractive and want to look like that or have their girlfriend look like that. If I were that model I'd be embarrassed they made me look that way!

Dree said...

That is just an unhealthy message to be sending out, period. You are completely right- who could approve that, with any sort of decency or even common sense?!?

Love your costume!

Sorys said...

Hi, I really love your energy. It really jumps out of the page! I have yet to decide what I’m wearing for Halloween (annoying reality of being ADHD)

It really pisses me off to see how perfect women are portrayed in commercials and magazine ads. Why is Beyonce doing commercials for hair color with FAKE hair on? Really... WTF???

Why are commercials about skin care showing women with perfect skin...? As a society we need to put our feet down and stage a coup d'├ętat against all fake advertising!

Amandalicious said...

Calling someone an ass-hat is one of my favorite insults. That picture is awful.

Carrie said...

I just got my cotume last night! :o) It was an all day ordeal. I got kinda depressed there in the second shop, because of the size issue. I really like your costume! The wig looks very cool on you.

Oh and my opinion of you just shot up even higher after reading that you don't alter images. I had a friend that wanted to air brush her child's photo, because she had a scar. I could not believe it. Not a good message, especially girls.

Lianne said...

that picture is crazy. and you're right, LOVE YOURSELF. that's what makes us sexy!

Cris said...

That girl looks just plain weird. I'm all for being thin as I'm trying to get thin, but this is TOO much. What are they thinking? I have an aunt who is this thin and I hate hugging her because I feel like, one, that there is nothing to hug, and two, I feel like I'm going to break here. And yes, she chooses to be this thin thanks to lovely pics like this.

Unknown said...

Those models look like that weird corset lady who has a 15" waist. For real. Well, kind of for real --- she has worn corsets for so long that her body has deformed.

Nena said...

Jenn, love your blog - SO MUCH!!! You rock, girl!!!

I actually saw that ad a couple days ago, when the model was on TV (watched it via interweb) The sad thing is Ralph Lauren fired her because she was too "big" um... yeah, compared to THAT photo, but in real life - No way!!!