Thursday, October 29, 2009

TMI Thursday - Mr. Fudge Fingers.

This one is courtesy of my parents. It's a story I've heard many times before, but it's one I definitely need to share with you guys on TMI Thursday.

TMI Thursday

My brother Daniel was a very hyper active child. I mean, seriously hyper active, crazy ADD, wanna climb on everything and get into everything kind of kid. Not so much in the temper tantrum kind of way, but more in the chew on the corner beading kind of way. He'd swing from the curtains and he would get out of his crib during the night. My Dad woke up one night to find that Daniel had crawled out of his crib, gotten out of his room, crawled downstairs, into the kitchen, up onto the counter, opened up the drawers and started playing with the silverware.

That was the last straw. They knew they had to do something.

My parents went to the doctor and asked what to do about Daniel getting out of the crib, after all... a kid still in diapers, though posessing all the energy he did, could still hurt himself. They didn't want him falling out of the crib and knocking his dear little head on the floor or something. The doctor told them to simply put the mattress on the floor, and my brother would be fine. So, into the little window cubby the mattress went, and that's how it had to go to keep Daniel's face as cute as ever, and not smooshed on the ground after a fall. With that, they also had to put a lock on the door so he couldn't get out and into things while they were sleeping.

One morning, my lovely mother went upstairs in the old house to get Daniel up. She opened the door and noticed that the walls looked different. There was some kind of weird pattern or design all over the walls by the mattress. Now, there definitely hadn't been a room decorater invited overnight. She thought "Crayons?" But there were no play-things in the room - all the toys were kept downstairs. She crept closer and noticed that Daniel wasn't wearing his diaper.

Oh, shit.

Literally.

On the walls.

My brother, apparently, had a very, very artistic brain. No crayons? Poop will do! (paint, paint paint.)

My Mother called my Dad up to the room to check out the talent. My Dad took one look in the room and said, "Well, I have to go to work! Bye!!" (I laugh every time I hear that.) So, my Mother tells me that Daniel had a bath, the room had a bath, then Mom had a bath.

Ultra hilarious. :)

~Jenn

27 comments:

Carlos said...

dude!

Christy in Seattle said...

lol. yuck!

KellyGrrl said...

Total yuck. I think it was one of my sisters' kids that pooped in his diaper in the middle of the night and instead of crying or anything, got out of his bed (he was very nearly potty trained at this point), took off his diaper, and then slapped it poop-side to the wall. Hahaha! I guess that's one way to deal with the situation...

Tonja +Jere + Kids said...

joscelyn did that one time, in her crib...i about died, she was 11 months old.

i was mortified.

hubby cleaned her and we both cleaned the crib and sanitized everything...needless to say she doesn't do those things anymore.

Raine said...

I hate to admit, but my twin sister and I did the same thing as babies. It's a great medium to work with if you're out of crayons. J/K

NatureCat said...

yep, pretty gross. i have a friend whose daughter did the same thing. not in a "fun" or "creative" spirit. it was more of a poop protest.

NJ said...

HAHA, that really is TMI!

English Rose said...

Gotta love hyperactive siblings! my dad is so like that, too: any sign of trouble and he has disappeared, and there's a dad-shaped hole in the door x

Chuck said...

Brother Dan...boyfiend Dan...this isn't one of those separated at birth kind of stories is it?? It's funny either way.

Kendra said...

Oh no!!! Kids...they'll do anything..

*gulp* My time is coming! (currently pregnant)

kanmuri said...

We have a similar story in my family. Apparently my aunt also painted the walls with her diaper...

Tara Oakley Cutler said...

I friggin LOVE poop stories!!

This Little Girl Dreams... said...

you know it wasn't the brightest idea ever to read this while I am eating sloppy joes.

Jennifer said...

Im sure if that were to happen in todays world you could cut it out, mount it and sell it on Etsy... ;)

Stephanie said...

Omg, My daughters both did that for a full year, everyday. It is the nastiest thing in the world to clean up. I look back at it now and kinda laugh, but it was horrible back then! My husband would do the same thing as your dad, lol. I think it's the natural guy reaction or something.btw, i'm new to your blog!

MMM said...

That is awesome! I have two roommates in college that did the same thing when they were little too. Makes me laugh, and want to vomit all at the same time! I am SOOOO lucky that my girls did not do that. Im not sure if I could over something like that. LOL!!!

Miss Marilee said...

I live for Thursdays JUST so I can read these!!! =)

Mango said...

I babysat for three kids once right after Halloween. One of the kids snuck away after engorging himself with candy, and then had a poop explosion in the bathroom, and did pretty much the same thing. EVERYWHERE. In the toilet, in the sink, on himself, on the walls. And then he stacked toilet paper on the crap in the toilet. Worst. Babysitting experience. Ever.

Right as I was opening the door to the horrific event, his parents came home. LUCKY FOR ME, not so much for them.

Desperate Diva said...

Oh vile >_< I better your brother appreciates this post :-p

LiLu said...

I'm not even mad. I'm just impressed.

Cat said...

Yep. My wee beast would do that regularly, to the point that we would put her to be in either overalls or pinned one-piece pajamas. After a while it's no longer shocking and gross, just obnoxious.

Ah, the joys of parenthood...

Ramon said...

And I thought I was creative...

Lianne said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! oh maaaaan.... your poor mom had to clean it all up!

but i must admit, your brother was one resourceful kid.

leethroughthelens.blogspot.com

amy said...

gotta love poop-painting. A friend just went thru that and was putting diaper-shirts on him and sleepers on him backwards.. just to slow him down:)

MB said...

I'm sure your brother is never happy to hear this "funny" story.

It isn't so bad when a child does it and I'm sure your parents weren't happy about it but imagine a co-worker painting the ladies room stalls with her feces. Then imagine that the lawyer I work for saying "it's not a big deal, it's nothing compared to what you see in prison." Huh?

justagirl said...

My daughter did this for about a year. The first time it happened I was horrified. I'm a bit of a germ freak. I was okay after I got the bleach and gloves out. I was not so hot however after she smiled and breathed her hot breath into my face. It was then I realized she had eaten some too. Poop is like skunk, it does not wash off the skin or breath well.

Jen said...

My husband lives in fear of this. He is convinced that our 3 year old son will suddenly wake up and regress to a poop throwing primate... I just laugh at him. Because if it DOES happen, I know he'll skedaddle like your dad did. Haha.
Love your blog!!