Friday, October 23, 2009

SO Damn Lazy. And toast.

What's up! My faithful readers, my accidental stumble-upon-readers, my fellow bloggers!

Before we get into it today, I want to thank you all for the comments on my TMI post. I'm glad to know that I am not the only person to have horfed their cookies in front of a hot person. On that note, MANY of you asked about "Guy" and whatever happened to him. ...Well, I can't go into too many details, but he did NOT go home that night. From that point on we had a really tumultuous, up and down, wild crazy roller coaster of a passionate love/hate/connect/fight relationship. The romance ended, and he is currently one of my close friends. :)

SO! Today I want to talk about laziness. And I'm going to be totally honest and say, I'm full of laziness. FULL of laziness. Now, I'm not full of laziness all the time. I mean, I work my arse off when it comes to my photography, my business, and this blog. But when it comes to other things like cleaning the house or working out, I suck lazy balls.

I hate working out. Hate, hate, hate it. Just 'cause it means I have to get off of my comfy couch, pry my face away from the computer (I love it so much. I would marry my computer if I could. It's awesome, the internet is my home, I am obsessed.) and go outside where it's too hot, too cold, too windy, or too perfect to ruin by working out.

I've gone through lots of bouts of working out. Let's take a closer look, shall we?

Pre birth: I was a natural swimmer and water acrobat. I was so good I didn't even need to breathe through my mouth or nose. I magically had all the oxygen I needed. I LIVED in the water.

Baby aged: Embraced baby fat. Ate really healthy. Preoccupied with oranges, and didn't like any other Christmas presents. Seriously. I got a ton of gifts and my favorite thing was that orange. PS, isn't my mom WILD gorgeous?

Toddlerhood: I rocked the jungle-gym and the bouncy balls. No problem whatsoever with lifting up my skirt to show off my kick ass toddlertights.

Elementary school: I played soccer with my brother and the neighbor. I rode my bike a lot. I jumped from couch to cushion to couch to avoid the hot lava floor in my parents house. I hula hooped and jump roped in gym class twice a week. Regularly posed for pictures with family members and worked my core by flipping upside down and making crazy faces.

Junior high: Before I hit junior high, I was still slim and rockin' the 80's attempt, complete with my ring-necklace and my brother jammin on the keytar. Once I started junior high, I didn't do much but get picked on relentlessly, and try to avoid gym class. I got chubby and entered my greasy stage. Didn't wash my hair enough, had no idea how to do makeup, and grew addicted to my black and orange garfield shirt.

High school: I took on the deepest level of fitness craze I've ever been a part of. I worked out two hours a day, five days a week, AND played tennis after school/on the weekends. I also was in show choir, so I danced for a good 20-30 minutes every day we had rehearsal on stage. I slimmed way down to a size six and could eat cheetos.

College: I quit working out. I wasn't in show choir anymore. I studied. I wrote a lot. I learned how to take pretty pictures. I ate too much cake, face first. Got a gym membership at my Mother's suggestion at a ladies only gym. Hated going there, too.

Post-college, late teens/20-21 years old: I slowly got fatter and fatter. My only exercise at this point was walking back and forth from my office to the cookie jar in the other office. I then was dumped via phone, thought it was due to the weight, dieted my way down to a size 8. No exercise was involved.

I apparently also didn't know the meaning of the words "root touchup."

During the hotness (around 22 years old): I was hot and skinny. My only exercise was touring apartments during the week, and on the weekends... copius amounts of vigorous sex.

After the hotness, post-24: Gym membership costs me $80 a month. I hired a personal trainer. She didn't focus on cardio at all, had me lift lotsa weights. I stopped my sessions after six weeks. I then started Zumba, which is really fun, and I can burn lots of calories in an hour. Then I tried Gravity classes. Then I got into running for a few months. I got shin splints. I stopped running.

Now: I've been so damn lazy. I still do Zumba once a week. ONCE a week. Those are the only times I go to the gym. That means I'm basically taking $20 in and handing it to the people at the door for ONE class each week. That's ridiculous. I either need to drop my membership or start using the gym. It's a colossal waste of money.

I bought a jump rope, and was all excited about the idea of using it. I haven't used it, and it's too long for me. I was looking for my high school yearbook the other night, and guess what I found? Another freakin' jump rope. It's almost identical to the one I just bought, and it's also too long for me. Apparently instead of adjusting it down to the right size, I just didn't use it. That is the perfect and clear illustration of how lazy I am.

Why, WHY can't I just get motivated? I'll be really lazy, then think "Well they can do it on the Biggest Loser, blah blah blah" and it SOMETIMES gets me off my arse and into the car to go to the gym. Sometimes that still doesn't even work.

I think it's because I'd be okay with being skinny fat, and "fitness" isn't exactly a priority for me. I lost all that weight and achieved my "goal" of being in a size 8, and that was fine. I did it without exercise, and whoopdeedoo, I thought that made me lucky. MizFit would slap my ever loving face if she knew me in person. Then she'd push my flabby butt onto a treadmill and whip me with a riding crop.

Oh yeah. And I ate toast tonight. And hash browns. And crackers this afternoon. And crackers and a sandwich yesterday afternoon. CLEARLY didn't follow my diet today or yesterday.



Anonymous said...

I lost about 25 lbs last year and was the thinnest I ever was. I had not tone in my muscles either. I guess it depends on what type of body you want. Don't overwhelm yourself with things that you could be doing with fitness. I's about finding what you like. If you don't like doing something--don't do it. I think the moment you let go of obligation and guilt you'll find what get's your groove going.

that's right--you're groove.

Quincifer said...

Wow, you went through so many different stages!
I was pretty slim from being a baby right up to about 18....then it all went downhill and I just can't get out of the size 14/16 rut!
Oh well, its friday so I might as well go out tonight and commiserate it all, ha!
Have a good weekend :) x

Anonymous said...

1. We clearly could be the same person. I, too, am totally okay with being skinny fat.

2. We fell off plan on the same day, which makes me feel better about the whole pants scenario. I went to the state fair, and there may have been an incident with chocolate covered bacon.

3. You seriously rock the jean skirt/ugg look better than Pam Anderson, due to the fact that you have great gams.

So. Those are my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

I'm the same. I would probably marry the internet if I could. I hate exercising. I was lucky enough to be able to eat pretty much what I wanted without gaining too much weight, but as I get older, the pounds don't come off as easily. I train at home, because I hate having to go somewhere to train. I've bough gym memberships many times and never went...

Slop -n- Goulash: Dinner of Champions! said...

Oh, I've soooooo been there! Sounds like me. Except I found martial arts and altho I'm on a hiatus due to a major car accident, I will get back in the next few weeks and hope I can jump right back in. And those pesky potatoes...I'd be thin if God had never invented potatoes!!!

Sasha Carr, Ph.D. said...

Thanks for another wonderfully honest and thought-provoking post.

Asking yourself "why can't I get motivated?" is kind of a dead end question guaranteed to make you frustrated. I'm really curious as to what "fitness" actually means to you. It means so many different things to different people. How do you define it for yourself?

rachaelgking said...

That is EXACTLY why I love TMI Thursday so much... no matter what you post, someone out there is guaranteed to say, "Me too!!!" And then you know you're not alone in your craziness/grossness/utter humiliation!


Erin said...

vigorous sex is the #1 best form of exercise ever.

also very motivational if you've got jiggly bits...

Anonymous said...

I'm struggling with exercise too. Having a gym/walking buddy is crucial to my success. I really need that extra push.

Unknown said...

Best thing ever is to have a gym buddy. You can boost each other up when you don't feel like going. Plus it makes the gym more pleasant. Or walk and listen to fun podcasts like The Moth.

Re: Hash browns -- no worries, everyone slips up. Mine was smoked gouda. Last night. On the couch. Mmm mm good.

Kim Ayres said...

Laziness is just about not having sufficient motivation.

Do we want to wash the dishes? If our favourite TV programme is coming on, then pah, we'll leave it until later. If someone will pay us $100 if it's complete within 1/2 hour, then we won't even wait to roll up our sleeves before diving into the sink.

"Laziness" doesn't really exist - it just means unmotivated :)

Chupsie said...

ahaha, thats me! just i never yoyo'd no where all my fat came from my preg. once I got down to a size 8 (which just happen) I kind of just stopped! Time to get crackn again! I want to lose 10 more lbs!

ps love the pics!

Denise said...

Dude! Is that hawt blond man your dad? He is definitely 70's-style HAWT! He needs to be in a retro rocker band!

Tatyana Vinogradsky said...

Wow, I am so like this. Don't feel bad- I never work out- I just can't do it. I try, every year or so, to start a routine- like going to the gym during my lunch hour (I have a gym in my office) or just dancing or doing something productive. Once I thought it would be good exercise to play with my dog outside more and actually take her on long runs- that lasted about 2 outings.

I'm clearly work-out pathetic, as I'm sure tons of others are, so don't feel bad!! I just try to eat healthy- fruits and vegetables are my friend!

Erin said...

I have a love/hate relationship with working out. When my current BF and I started dating a year ago I went to the gym constantly so that I would look good when he saw me naked. Now that we've been together for a while, I haven't been to the gym in a few months. I'm also wasting a ton of money to not go to the gym.

Julie, The Wife said...

A) Gregg Allman is never smiling, but I love his pics

B) Love the keytar

C) I've recently come to the conclusion that I have to decide between "skinny happy" and "really happy". Because I'm happy with how I look when I've lost weight, but I LOVE FOOD. Love it. And nothing is better than sitting around a table with friends and wine, eating delish plates, having a fatgasm. And I'm lazy too. So what do you do? I'm reading blogs for The Answer, I know it's on the Internet somewhere...

KaNwaR said...

well...i think u looked pretty any whch way in all those pics. i think smiles make anyone looks a lot better than any amount of weight loss( damnit, help, i sound like oprah)...anyways...i found ur blog real sweet

Also...i,d like it if you check out a few posts on my blog

Lookin forward to hearin from ya!

Sara said...

I totally get the lazyness thing, and I have workouts that I like doing, but I hate getting off my ass/waking up in the morning to do them. At least doing Zumba once a week is better than not working out at all. As for the gym membership, I recently dropped mine. I have only been going there for the scale anyway. I love workout DVD's, and I found a studio that offers Zumba classes once a week in my area (still havent gone) no gym membership required, and its much much cheeper than joining the gym. Maybe you can find something like that in your area. Or see if the gym has a special deal where you only pay for the one class you want to take. When I tried to cancel my gym membership they offered to slash the price by like 65% I was paying 80, they droped it down to 35+ a trainer to stay, but I dont like the gym. The only gym I have ever liked in my life was the one I was a member of in college, and it was right between the library and where my classes were. No excuse not to go. Now my gym is between my bed and my door. this has been really long and rambeling. I need to finish my coffee...sorry

Anonymous said...

Girl, I feel your pain on this one. It's really hard for me. I spend like two hours a night procrastinating from going. I wish I was exaggerating.

Fat Fox said...

Hi Jenn - first time commenter here! Might I just say how kick ass your blog is? I've been reading since you showed up on ‘Blogs of Note’ and have been HOOKED ever since. You really have a way with words and I love being able to relate to your experiences! (Especially this post!) You're no holds, balls to the wall writing is truly inspirational. (And I love how you use the word "balls" all the time!!) Keep it up – and for the love of God, please write a book someday (soon)!

Preggo My Eggo said...

DUDE! Your house had lava too what a coincidence. I am also lazy and also used to be hot. At the time I didn't diet OR exercise. I go back and forth from working out to utter web potato. I think for me I just expect that my hotness will turn up on my doorstep one day and bitch slap me into the gym and then all will magically fall into place. But it hasn't happened yet so, I guess I need a new plan.

GirlBoyGirl said...

Story of my freakin' life. I just posted a blog about how unmotivated I've been lately. I just don't want to do anything! Strangely enough I have been exercising, but not really enough to break out in a sweat or make much of a difference. I guess I have been doing okay on my diet too but... ugh. I just hate doing it. All of it. Food is so delicious and sitting on couches is so comfy!

I keep telling myself "a year from now I'll wish I had stuck with this today." I could kick myself for not staying fit when I got down to a size 8. Now I'm paying for it in fat fat fat.

GirlBoyGirl said...

p.s. I love the cake picture hahaha

Salina Lyn said...

If you're happy with just eating right and not turning yourself in to a die hard gym rat then by all means...GO FOR IT. I wish I could get away with that. Without the gym, I'm just fat, no matter how good I eat. :)

Anonymous said...

I loved reading this post... minus the fact that I was skinny til I was 24, you and I have the same outlook on being skinny. If it's easy, fine. If not, skinny can suck it while I have lunch and maybe I'll workout tonight...if you're lucky. LOL

Heather said...

I am in the same exact boat! Except the last time I was "hot" was probably elementary school. Puberty and junior high made me pack on the pounds. I've pre-paid for my gym membership but go maybe twice a week. WHAT THE HELL??? It's free at this point!!!!!

I'm starting a challenge for myself to get to the gym three times a week. If I can do that for 4 straight weeks, I'll buy another pair of workout pants that actually fit me. I'm going over to my blog to post this so I can be held accountable!

You should come up with a challenge/reward too.

Miss Mocity said...

I randomly stumbled across your blog one day, and it brings me such joy. I feel like I just read a re-cap of my own thin-e-ology. Excellent! (TMI Thursdays still my fave though... "It needed to be done!" Bwahahahahaha)

This Little Girl Dreams... said...

I am finding your blog very motivating as I myself am trying to lose weight I gained. I am holding myself accountable and I wrote a post! Scary bud I did it : )

Kendra said...

I gained a "healthy" 40 lbs after HS and honestly, felt that lazy bug just take root in myself! I've always had the right thoughts and far too much information on how to properly do the weight loss journey..but I never put it into action!!! I now have a wonderful excuse in the fact that I'm pregnant...but I certainly won't let myself gain 75lbs during this because that'd be ridiculous!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know your journey far too well! I've been there...on nearly every stage...excpet in HS I wasn't exactly skinny but I wasn't fat either...

One day it'll hit us both and we'll be fitness gurus in our own right!!!

NJ said...

You look just like your mother!!!!

I'm taking pilates once a week. It's fun and that class goes by fast and you actually can feel the work that's been done the next day. Ouch! And also Yoga once a week which is almost like torture. It's so hard but after I feel so good! I've hit the 20 lb mark which means my dear daughter must dans the nicoderm patch. It was her dare and hopefully she can do it. My next goal is to lose another 20 while she quits.

Christy said...

I read this post with mixed emotions. You are so beautiful and seem to have a really positive spirit. If you are otherwise healthy (unlike me, who has high blood pressure and scoliosis and a family history of diabetes and near-constant illnesses for two years) then does a little extra weight really matter?

If it's self-discipline that you're craving, great. I'm sure there are many small changes you could make to get a little more active. Being active will benefit your body, your mind, and your spirit in a myriad ways ... but there are so many fun ways to exercise! Sex and dancing are two of my favorites ... with walking and Pilates catching up quickly.

At some point, I think all of us who are on the diet train should ask ourselves -- what are our weight-loss goals? If there are none besides "looking good" or "fitting into cute clothes" is that an adequate motivation truly to change our lives and the way we eat ... forever? Or, will that diet train turn into a rollercoaster, careering out of control, our self-esteem crashing with each little rise in weight?

I'd love to be in a size 6 again. When I started this diet, that was my goal.

Then I wondered ... why?

I mean, what's so great about a size six really? Sure, I loved the shape that I was in as a size 6 ... but even at an 8 and a 10, I kicked butt at cardio. I hiked and roamed just about any old where I wanted. My body was a good body, able to answer the demands I put on it with energy to spare.

Is size six okay, but every thing above it not okay? What about if you or I got into a size 8 or 10 or, yes, even a 12 and maintained it forever? Would we be happy with that (assuming, again, we were otherwise healthy)?

I'm not trying to tell you that you shouldn't lose weight. That's a personal decision that everyone has to make for herself. I'm here to support you in any way I can. Sometimes, though, the best support can come from a reality check.

Be kind to yourself. You've already come a long way on this journey. It's okay that you're not perfect! You'd be pretty freaking dull if you were.


It Rhymes With Witch said...

Yes, you DO look EXACTLY like your mother! I know .. you said lots of other fabulous and enlightening and exciting things in that post. but I got nowhere because YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER.

And that's a good thing.

The Insatiable Host said... security word is jokes...anyhow, so i have this motto in life "if you think you are wrong...think again..." wait..wrong one. "If money doesn't motivate you; poverty should". I am inclined to adapt it for you...
If working out doesn't motivate you; jiggly bits should/being broke from paying for jump ropes and making your own hula hoops should...whatever makes you think about it. If you figure it out, let me know...I am trying to motivate myself to save $$ to buy a scale.
it's an uphill battle and my ass is still the same size 13

Anonymous said...

Just find something you love and do it. There's gotta be something. I HATE cardio. I mean H-A-T-E!!! I force myself to do it anyhow because I'm old and it's important blah blah blah. Just wish it weren't so boring. However, I LOVE weight training. It makes me feel all macho and buff. I have a friend who competes in ballroom dancing. That is her passion. Just find something and go with it. Good luck Jen.

Lady Mel said...

Love your baby pictures :D

And I want toast.. :P

Anonymous said...

I share your loathing for exercise. But in my lard busting zeal I got a rebounder. Once I got my boulders strapped in, I discovered that I could watch telly, laugh like a hyena and, according to Nasa, burn off some lard at the same time. Not sure why bouncing makes me laugh so much, but hey - whatever works!
Love the photos, and toast. You're my kind of gal! I'm blogging myself slim too. Come visit!