Friday, December 12, 2008

Being Self Employed

My flight to Denver leaves in an hour, and I'm sitting here in the terminal typing away like a really cool blogger type person.

So... where to begin? Dan and I have a friend who works for an airline, so we are lucky enough to get buddy pass / standby tickets. The thing about those is that you have to dress up (business type attire), ie: no jeans, sweats, comfy clothes, t-shirts, hats, tennies, etc. For me, I'm thinking, "No problem, I did an office job for six years." So, I lay out my work pants, a white button up shirt and a grey sweater vest. This morning I pulled on my pants and almost started to cry. Yeah, these size 14's buttoned up, but they're tight as all getout. (Were they size 14 or 16? I can't even rememeber, and sitting here I can't pull my pants down to check.) -- I put on the white shirt which I wore at Thanksgiving and it was just about the same tightness, and pulled the sweater vest over.

Aside from the fact that I was really grumpy already from getting virtually NO sleep... I looked in the full length mirror and was so upset. Dan came up and gave me a kiss and asked what was wrong. I blurted out some variety and combination of expletives and stomped into the other room.

What do I gather from this experience? Working at home is AWESOME except for the ease in which you can fall into an expanding waistline, bootie, whatever. The fridge is in such close proximity that it's nothing to go grab food... it's right next to you. Add that to being able to wear comfy clothes all the time... (I work in my jammies for the most part) and you can gain weight without even realizing that your real clothes don't exactly fit anymore.

So. Yeah. It makes me glad that one of my goal outfits is a snazzy pinstripe suit I haven't been able to fit into correctly (ever)--- even when I was on Atkins and I dropped all that weight, my midsection still was too mushy and not toned enough to button the waist on these fabulous pants. It's only a size 10 but the waist is a size 6. ;)

Oh, and another thing. When I ran into all my "can't sleep" problems last night, I got up, had a cigarette, and was still hungry. I made one of my whole wheat pita/turkey/organic cream cheese concotions and ate that (I was only around 800 calories for the day prior to that). I thought eating would help me fall asleep. Instead, I still felt hungry after that and decided to have some cereal. I poured a HUGE bowl of two kinds of cereal mixed together (healthy wheat crunch type cereal) and topped it off with 1/3 banana slices and some soy milk. I downed that crunchy goodness so fast... and then the fullness and ickiness hit. I laid down again with Dan after attempting to watch some Lord of the Rings, and wanted to fall asleep. I immediately felt guilty for eating that much, particularly so late. Dan said that I eat so fast my body doesn't recognize that I'm full until I'm too full. I've heard that before... I'm a super fast scarfer eater. I'll eat my meal so much faster than anyone else around me, sometimes I feel like a bit of a freak. I attribute that to super rushed lunch breaks, running, grabbing food, coming back, and scarfing it at my desk for fear of a customer coming in or not having enough time to actually eat like a normal human being.

Anyways. Thought I'd share a bit about my little episode this morning. Needless to say it will give me sufficient motivation to stick to my eating and workout regimine while I'm in Denver. I want these pants to fit a little looser and my GUT to hang out a little less when I put this freakin' outfit back on when I fly back to Milwaukee.

Love and coconuts,
~Jenn

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't be so mad at yourself, Jenny. It's all a learning process. Be proud of yourself for being ON that process. You're learning about your body and making the appropriate adjustments. Who could ask for more??? No one in their right mind! You're doing super!!!

Mom

Abrunz said...

Hey, if you are in Denver.....


And I am in Denver (from the 26th through the 3d).....

that would mean that WE would be in Denver... and so I could show you some cool new exercises I have learned in the Army! plus I could see you!

kickass.

Jennifer Brindley said...

Awww Andrew, I fly home the 27th. :(

Beth said...

Um, I hope you were hungry after only 800 calories for the day! That's not enough, babe. Don't starve yourself.

Jennifer Brindley said...

Yeah, the caloric intake wasn't intentional, it just happened to be what I ate and how it added up. I am averaging 1550 calories a day right now. And looking now at my chart it was closer to 929 (or what it says on my tracker) :) :)

Beth said...

Oh, 929 is so much better than 800. :P I tried the 1500 calories a day thing, but had to up it to 1700 because I was so hungry.