Sunday, April 5, 2009

Weight Quandaries.

I am in a weird place.

I would love to wake up tomorrow and be 50 lbs lighter. I also have never felt freakin' lazier.

Yesterday I didn't eat so well. We went to Dan's Grandmother's funeral and they had food there. Then the b-day celebration for Christina last night. Here's my rough food intake yesterday:

Breakfast:
1 large bowl cereal w/ 3/4 cup milk
1 diet coke

@ The Funeral - starving!:
1 slice kringle
1 cup coffee w/ 2 creamers and 2 sweet n lows

Lunch @ funeral reception:
1 diet coke
1 cup mashed potatoes
1/4 cup gravy
1/2 cup stuffing
1 roll, 2 pads butter
3/4 cup fruit
1/2 cup coleslaw
1 slice cheesecake thing with cherries on top

Dinner @ birthday thing:
2 pieces garlic toast
1/2 piece mozzarella marinara
3 slices 12" veggie thin crust pizza
10 diet cokes

Don't judge me for the diet cokes - I was DD last night.

So yeah, I'm just feelin' tired this morning and I feel puffy from all the salt intake (I could REALLY taste it in the stuffing.) -- I haven't been active and I feel like a blob!

At the same time last night Christina was so sweet and said, "You look so great, I can really tell you've lost weight." And of course that made me feel good and not like a loser for eating that pizza. But then I saw the pictures she snapped of me while I sang karaoke, and next to her and her 6 other THIN and GORGEOUS friends, I wanted to stab myself in the face.

May's right - all you need to snap back to reality is to try on bathing suits or see photos of yourself. UGH.

I hate this feeling and I really just want to get back to normal.

3 comments:

May said...

Right?! Whats worse is Im finding out I look better in the dark than in light. All my mirrors are mean!

jen said...

We have all been before!! You need motivation and that is hard to find in a room full of skinny people!

So you know how you feel NOW ~ what are you going to do to make it BETTER??

~~I am not being mean, this is the same question I keep asking myself!!

Just remember that no matter what, You are not alone!!

<3jen

nancy said...

Hey Jenny,

I saw the pictures of you from the cruise. Terrific!! Your weight lose really shows!!! Don't be so hard on yourself, now. It's normal to feel that way AFTER a vacation. Give yourself some time to transition back into the future.

I love you!!!

Mom