Sunday, April 5, 2009

Weight Quandaries.

I am in a weird place.

I would love to wake up tomorrow and be 50 lbs lighter. I also have never felt freakin' lazier.

Yesterday I didn't eat so well. We went to Dan's Grandmother's funeral and they had food there. Then the b-day celebration for Christina last night. Here's my rough food intake yesterday:

1 large bowl cereal w/ 3/4 cup milk
1 diet coke

@ The Funeral - starving!:
1 slice kringle
1 cup coffee w/ 2 creamers and 2 sweet n lows

Lunch @ funeral reception:
1 diet coke
1 cup mashed potatoes
1/4 cup gravy
1/2 cup stuffing
1 roll, 2 pads butter
3/4 cup fruit
1/2 cup coleslaw
1 slice cheesecake thing with cherries on top

Dinner @ birthday thing:
2 pieces garlic toast
1/2 piece mozzarella marinara
3 slices 12" veggie thin crust pizza
10 diet cokes

Don't judge me for the diet cokes - I was DD last night.

So yeah, I'm just feelin' tired this morning and I feel puffy from all the salt intake (I could REALLY taste it in the stuffing.) -- I haven't been active and I feel like a blob!

At the same time last night Christina was so sweet and said, "You look so great, I can really tell you've lost weight." And of course that made me feel good and not like a loser for eating that pizza. But then I saw the pictures she snapped of me while I sang karaoke, and next to her and her 6 other THIN and GORGEOUS friends, I wanted to stab myself in the face.

May's right - all you need to snap back to reality is to try on bathing suits or see photos of yourself. UGH.

I hate this feeling and I really just want to get back to normal.


M said...

Right?! Whats worse is Im finding out I look better in the dark than in light. All my mirrors are mean!

Jennifer Newman said...

We have all been before!! You need motivation and that is hard to find in a room full of skinny people!

So you know how you feel NOW ~ what are you going to do to make it BETTER??

~~I am not being mean, this is the same question I keep asking myself!!

Just remember that no matter what, You are not alone!!


nancy said...

Hey Jenny,

I saw the pictures of you from the cruise. Terrific!! Your weight lose really shows!!! Don't be so hard on yourself, now. It's normal to feel that way AFTER a vacation. Give yourself some time to transition back into the future.

I love you!!!