Sunday, September 6, 2009

My mouth is open, shove some food in there.

Yeah. Garble, garble, snarfle face, Munchie McMuncherson, YARRRRRRRRRRNCH!!!!!!!!!

That's been me for the past few days. My weight has stayed the same, maybe one pound up. I'm right around 191 as of this morning (though to be honest I haven't weighed myself naked in the morning for at least a week). I have a problem, and I can't figure it out.

I can't stop eating.

And it's not about being ravenously hungry, you guys. It's not even about being moderately hungry. I'm just eating because "oh, why not, sure I'll whip up some eggs with mushrooms and a bit of avocado while you heat up your leftovers" or "Yeah, Olive Garden soup and salad sounds good, let's do it!" or, "Yeah, I'm gonna sit here and watch Dexter and shove my fist into this open box of Raisin Bran because it's sitting by the table."

I'm not eating unhealthy things, though I'm eating more bread than I should be... but calorie wise I'm still at weight loss numbers. It's not like six months ago where I found myself at Walgreens, buying ice cream and whatever the crap else junk food I could get my hands on to take home and shove in my face. But I'm eating when I'm not hungry, and that's really pissing me off.

I can't figure out what it is. I've never really been an "Am I eating because I'm bored?" kind of person. Sometimes I'll eat if I have an icky taste in my mouth - usually I like to drink Diet Coke when I do. But... hellooooo brainiac, brush your teeth! I should just brush my teeth more.

My other problem is that I've been tasting too much. I'll have a "taste" of cookies I bake for Dan, or a "taste" of cereal, or "just five crackers with margarine." But that's a huge problem for me. It only awakens my taste buds and makes me want more.

Here are some rules I really need to stick to if I'm gonna be successful with my eating to lose:

1. Don't taste.
2. Eat at least one big salad as a meal each day.
3. Don't eat carbs after breakfast. (SERIOUSLY.)
4. Drink lots of water.
5. Brush my teeth if I feel inclined to nibble.

The one thing I've really been good about is "No drinking." Now, it's not because I think drinking is bad or anything, in fact I QUITE enjoy it. But it's because:

1. Empty calories.
2. Lowers the inhibitions, which means I'm more likely to go to The Greasy Spoon for a bar close breakfast, or make biscuits and gravy or something.
Though I miss getting drunk once in awhile, I'll tell you that. I went home in August for my birthday and didn't get drunk once the entire time I was there, which for a week of socializing is a huge thing for me. I had 1/4 of a beer at my birthday and just put it down. Wasn't feelin' it. Lately I've been wanting to just have a night where I can enjoy the glorious effects of alcohol with some friends and let that be that. I might just want to do a night with a bottle of wine. I just need to let it wash over me and pass out so I don't hit the, "ooh, hungry for TOAST" phase. We'll see.

I just need to go back on the plan I was on a few months ago. I dropped a lot of weight, and it felt awesome. I just creep back into this frame of mind where my subconscious goes, "Yeah, you lost weight, your fat pants are too big for you, so you can cheat here and there."

Well, SCREW YOU, subconscious! I want THESE pants to be loose on me, and I do NOT do well with cheating. I can't have balance in my life. It just doesn't work for me.




Anonymous said...

Hello! I just found your blog about a week ago and it's great! I completely understand what you're talking about re: eating when you're not hungry and needing a plan to become more mindful of when you're eating. Good for you for mapping out a few ideas. I hope it works for you! I am a big emotional eater and need to put into practice a few "food distractions." Keep up the great blog.

South Beach Steve said...

I have been through a time in my not-so distant past where I was going through something very similar to this. I knew I had to tighten the program up a bit, as I felt my control slipping away gradually (I am not saying that is what is happening to you, but it was to me). Finally, one morning I woke up and said enough was enough, I got back on program, cut out the "acceptable" cheating, and the weight loss has begun again.

I think your goals sound great. Stick to them and you will do fine.

Cole Walter Mellon said...

Yeah, those BLTs (bites, licks and tastes) can be murder, and you hit on my other problem, too: when I start eating, I tend to keep eating.

But it sounds like you're also like me in another aspect: even when you're being "bad", you're not being as bad as you used to be. That's progress, my friend.

Sharpen your focus and just try to slow down the whole process. I examine the crap out of what I'm eating, why I'm eating it and how quickly I'm eating it.

My other secret weapon is brushing my teeth, flossing and rinsing with mouthwash. It's funny, but after that, the thought of putting food in my mouth doesn't seem so appetizing. It's like my brain takes it as a signal that the "closed" sign is up for the tummy.

CountryGirl said...

Hi, I've been reading you blog for a couple of weeks now and going back through the archives. Since I am at the beginning of my weight loss journey it's nice to see someone who's well into their's...very encouraging. So I know you are a pro at this compared to me, but the teeth brushing thing is what I do very often, just something about the taste of toothpaste in my mouth makes thinking of food disgusting! Also, cuz I AM a person who eats when I'm bored I CANNOT have any food out laying around....ever. It all has to be in it's container, in the cabinet and behind the closed door! Totally out of sight! With the exception of the bowl of fruit on my table that gets constantly refilled so it's an easy grab! I don't know about how things work once you've gotten as far as you have, but I do know you've been amazingly strong to make it where you are and you will make it through this too. You don't seem to give in about anything, this isn't gonna beat you either!

Anonymous said...

I feel you dog. I had a bad week. At least you're munching on healthy things. I munched on lard.

Jeff Nerone said...

Hey Jen, this may help you to recognize what is going on. Ask yourself 'What am I feeling when I find myself eating while not hungry?'

In many cases...its not a physical issue, its an emotional one.

When I feel down or melancholy, a box of mac & cheese can do the trick. Who needs anti-depressants when you have carbs!

Reflecting on your emotional path during your weight loss journey can be a key factor here. With awareness you begin to see a pattern and can make better choices.