I've been totally unmotivated over the last month or so. I ate badly, then "recommitted" to getting back on track, then let thing after thing pull me off course.
My weight has fluctuated between 168 to 178 over the last month. Much of that has to do with water weight, as I've gone back and forth from carbohydrate intake to low carbohydrates, and that also includes high amounts of sodium. I was doing really well, and then my friends came into town to visit me. That was the excuse to eat badly, along with the fact that my friend Wes (usually my fellow low-carber) was not on plan because of some medications he was taking. So... here's a sampling of what I ate:
Burger and fries from Culvers
Burger and fried cheese curds from Culvers
One white castle burger and a whole medium movie theater popcorn
Garrett's Chicago mix cheese and caramel popcorn (easily an entire medium bag of it)
Sleeve of ritz crackers
1/2 pound ham and cheese Hot Pocket
Easy Mac
King sized Payday
Three donuts (two of which were creme filled)
Fish tacos (fried fish, not grilled)
Large pub style nachos
Untold amounts of onion rings
Deep-fried mushrooms
Denny's breakfast (awesome omelette and a pancake)
Small plates dinner at Swig, including crab cakes, salad, flatbread, tempura snap peas, breaded three-cheese ravioli and a dessert sampler
Okay. That's all I can remember, but there obviously has to be even more than that. Needless to say, this was TOTALLY a week-long binge. I decided that since I was eating that way anyway, it was my "opportunity" to eat everything I wasn't allowed to eat, and I did it. And boy did I feel AWFUL after it was all over. I felt like CRAP. I felt bloated and uncomfortable. I had gas and tummy problems, and my face felt fat. I had water weight and I felt awful peeling off my clothes to take a shower. It sucked.
Moral? It's just NOT worth it, y'all.
The official numbers today, March 15th, 2010:
5'6.5", 174 lbs
Bust = 39.5
Waist = 32
Hips = 41.5
I've been back on my low carb program with a vengeance for two days, and I feel SO MUCH BETTER, it's not even funny. I've also come across a new program, and I'm going to look into it a little bit more before I decide if I'm going to try it. I'll share with you guys in a bit.
I'm going to Cancun on vacation mid May. I have eight weeks, and I'm really curious to see how much weight I can melt off in that two month timeframe. Skinnier me + bikini? HERE I COME!
SO. Now I wanted to take some time to answer some questions I've gotten!
Q: How is the studio hunt going with all the other busy happenings?
A: I put in my application for the space I posted before, and should hear tomorrow, I think! If things go well I will be aiming for move-in by April 1st or so.
Q: Do you do a lot of studio work?
A: I do a fair amount. It averages around a shoot a week. But, a large reason for that is my dissatisfaction with my current studio space. Once I move to a more real, professional space... I will be able to really push and market my studio work. :)
Q: My advice is to work out. Do you work out? You should work out!
A: My gym membership is soon to be canceled (at $80/month!) I haven't been there in over four months. I loath working out. I've considered getting back into Krav, but I can't make a financial commitment when I know I won't do it. I've gone into and out of so many workout programs, but I can NOT commit to it. I seriously, seriously hate it.
Q: Are you happy with your current weight? Who holds you accountable?
A; I'm happier with my current weight than I ever was with weighing 225. It's a false happiness, because I really want to lose another 20-30 pounds. But when I fit into these size 10 jeans and I am 50 pounds down from where I was before... I feel "okay." I am my only accountability. You guys are a huge support system, and I feel reluctant to post when I slip or eat wrong or gain weight. But aside from that, I have no diet/working out/fitness buddy or anything like that.
Q: Why are there Pop Tarts in your house?
A: Unfortunately, I don't live alone, and I refuse to let my food weaknesses be a reason to go postal on Dan's food choices. He can eat Pop Tarts if he wants to, and it's not his fault, or his problem, if I am not strong enough to NOT EAT THEM.
Q: Can you post some low-carb recipes?
A: Well, yes and no. Just because low carb eating is SO super simple... I don't really go nuts in cooking. What I can do is post some more detailed info on what I eat and a few options for each meal. I like to keep it sweet and simple. Keep an eye out for that post soon!
Ta-ta- for now!
~J
PS... Thank you, THANK YOU to all of you who have been so kind as to bestow a blog award upon me over the last few weeks. I am way too behind to come by and grab them and re-distribute, but I should just say that it does mean a lot and I LOVE that you're thinking of me. Thank you!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Popcorn and the Friends.
Hello lovely readers!
I've noticed I'm 3 followers away from hitting 2000 on my blog. MADNESS! I'd like to give Blogs of Note another thank-you shout-out for making me a Blog of Note. Just crazy how things go sometimes! And it's AWESOME to have all you guys around to read and comment and help me when I need help and give advice and such.
Well! Sorry for the lack of updating. (I realize that I say that a lot.) It's been a crazy week. I saw John Mayer at the Bradley Center here in Milwaukee, then I saw Chris Thile and the Punch Brothers three times over the course of four days. I also shot a wedding! Add in to that mix my Brother coming out for three days, and my two best friends coming out for a week, and you've got a VERY busy Jenn.
I wanted to share some photos with you all. You can click here to see all the gorgeous wedding shots.
Wes, Daniel and Jesse hanging out with us, eating some seafood!
I had the BEST cribbage hand after the concert. Anybody out there play? Can you figure out how many points this is!? Crazy.
Punch Brothers. /le-sigh.
Us out with a few new friends from Chicago!... VERY drunk at this point.
One of the best things about Chicago is the FOG. It was so beautiful!
SO! In terms of eating, I've gone back to a sort of maintenance mode. Friends in town who want to try all the great local eats... it's really hard. Wes does low carb and he's taking a little break too. Of course that gives me freedom to not only eat the fish fry, but to have the Chicago mix popcorn and the White Castle burgers too. I also had a piece of wedding cake on Saturday, and some bread and rice.
I'm feeling okay though. I'm still around 173. :)
~Jenn
I've noticed I'm 3 followers away from hitting 2000 on my blog. MADNESS! I'd like to give Blogs of Note another thank-you shout-out for making me a Blog of Note. Just crazy how things go sometimes! And it's AWESOME to have all you guys around to read and comment and help me when I need help and give advice and such.
Well! Sorry for the lack of updating. (I realize that I say that a lot.) It's been a crazy week. I saw John Mayer at the Bradley Center here in Milwaukee, then I saw Chris Thile and the Punch Brothers three times over the course of four days. I also shot a wedding! Add in to that mix my Brother coming out for three days, and my two best friends coming out for a week, and you've got a VERY busy Jenn.
I wanted to share some photos with you all. You can click here to see all the gorgeous wedding shots.
Wes, Daniel and Jesse hanging out with us, eating some seafood!
I had the BEST cribbage hand after the concert. Anybody out there play? Can you figure out how many points this is!? Crazy.
Punch Brothers. /le-sigh.
Us out with a few new friends from Chicago!... VERY drunk at this point.
One of the best things about Chicago is the FOG. It was so beautiful!
SO! In terms of eating, I've gone back to a sort of maintenance mode. Friends in town who want to try all the great local eats... it's really hard. Wes does low carb and he's taking a little break too. Of course that gives me freedom to not only eat the fish fry, but to have the Chicago mix popcorn and the White Castle burgers too. I also had a piece of wedding cake on Saturday, and some bread and rice.
I'm feeling okay though. I'm still around 173. :)
~Jenn
Thursday, March 4, 2010
TMI Thursday: Would you rather?
It's been a long time, but... I had an "episode" this week, and I HAD to share it with you guys. So, here it goes.
Monday I ran a few errands. Starbucks, grocery store, bank, etc. I decided to do a bit of driving around to look at a couple of places I would consider for a future studio, blah blah blah, and I headed back to the other side of town to hit the post office before a consult I had. As I was about five minutes from the Post Office, I started to get... that feeling.
You know. The rumbly, tumbly, farty feeling in your stomach. The one that makes you squinch your face in confusion. The one that makes you tuck your gut and clench your butt. The one that you hope will pass. The one that makes you think, "What the hell did I eat?" I shifted in my seat and made an uncomfortable pout, and after a few blocks, realized that the feeling wasn't going away. Alas... it was not a mere gas bubble.
It hit me that I had to, HAD to find a bathroom, or I'd shart myself.
Where I was driving, there were two options: Walgreens, or McDonalds. I knew that the bathroom all the way at the back of the Walgreens would likely be too far. I couldn't risk it.
And here's the problem: I HATE McDonalds. After Supersize Me and McLibel, I'm disgusted by the company. I loathe everything about them, their food, their ethics, the way they treat their employees, the garbage they market to children and the suppliers of their meat. (Another story for another day.)
I haven't stepped foot inside a McDonalds in over a year and a half. The other problem is that I feel guilty using the bathroom somewhere and not being a "customer." Usually if I stop on a road trip at a gas station or restaurant, I buy something, at least a Diet Coke or a pack of gum or something. But I definitely wasn't going to do that there. And so, suddenly, I was forced with that grand daddy question: "Would you rather?" You know. Would you rather immerse your naked body in a bathtub of cockroaches or dive naked head first into a pool of tobacco spit? Would you rather chew a piece of toenail off of a dirty man's foot, or thoroughly lick his un-showered armpit?
So, it was: Would you rather go into McDonalds, or shit your pants?
You guys, Imarched waddled my clenched ass right into that McDonalds. And it was beautiful. Well, it wasn't beautiful. But I felt a whole hell of a lot better. And I left without buying anything. Now I can say that I don't give McDonald's my money. I only give them my crap when I really, really can't hold it.
~J
Monday I ran a few errands. Starbucks, grocery store, bank, etc. I decided to do a bit of driving around to look at a couple of places I would consider for a future studio, blah blah blah, and I headed back to the other side of town to hit the post office before a consult I had. As I was about five minutes from the Post Office, I started to get... that feeling.
You know. The rumbly, tumbly, farty feeling in your stomach. The one that makes you squinch your face in confusion. The one that makes you tuck your gut and clench your butt. The one that you hope will pass. The one that makes you think, "What the hell did I eat?" I shifted in my seat and made an uncomfortable pout, and after a few blocks, realized that the feeling wasn't going away. Alas... it was not a mere gas bubble.
It hit me that I had to, HAD to find a bathroom, or I'd shart myself.
Where I was driving, there were two options: Walgreens, or McDonalds. I knew that the bathroom all the way at the back of the Walgreens would likely be too far. I couldn't risk it.
And here's the problem: I HATE McDonalds. After Supersize Me and McLibel, I'm disgusted by the company. I loathe everything about them, their food, their ethics, the way they treat their employees, the garbage they market to children and the suppliers of their meat. (Another story for another day.)
I haven't stepped foot inside a McDonalds in over a year and a half. The other problem is that I feel guilty using the bathroom somewhere and not being a "customer." Usually if I stop on a road trip at a gas station or restaurant, I buy something, at least a Diet Coke or a pack of gum or something. But I definitely wasn't going to do that there. And so, suddenly, I was forced with that grand daddy question: "Would you rather?" You know. Would you rather immerse your naked body in a bathtub of cockroaches or dive naked head first into a pool of tobacco spit? Would you rather chew a piece of toenail off of a dirty man's foot, or thoroughly lick his un-showered armpit?
So, it was: Would you rather go into McDonalds, or shit your pants?
You guys, I
~J
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Photos and Bacon.
I think that's what my life is made of, and that's a pretty good deal!
Last night I did a photo shoot with the Spoiled Rotten band! You can click here to check out those photos.
I weighed in at 175 this morning. I have NOT been back on my diet, in fact ate a delicious Qdoba queso burrito last night for dinner. It's been a game of maintenance for the last few weeks, and I feel pretty good about it.
I'm back on the low carb diet today, and it always feels nice to start with bacon and eggs. A lot of you have asked what I eat when I'm on the diet, so I thought I'd kind of review that for you. When you go low carb, the first two weeks should be kept at 20 carbs or under per day. (Atkins rules.) Those 20 grams of carbs per day should primarily come from veggies. There is a list of acceptable foods here. If you find you have a sugar/sweet tooth, or an addiction to all things bread-related, this is a great way to break the cravings. (I'm totally a bread-fiend, so that's why this diet is awesome for me.) After that, you have the option to then increase your carb intake by 5 grams a day each week until your weight loss slows. From there you find your balance, where you can eat healthy whole grains and incorporate more fruit into your eating, and maintain your weight.
I am stocked up on lettuce and chicken and tuna, string cheese and crystal light. When I'm eating low carb, those things are the staples of my diet. When I make dinner for Dan and I, it's usually spaghetti squash with butter and parmesan cheese, or grilled chicken with alfredo sauce or salsa and sour cream. We also really enjoy doing shish-kababs. We grill up steaks and veggies (bell peppers, mushrooms, yellow squash and zucchini) - it's delicious!
In other news, Dan and I are heading down to the Hide House to check out two studio spaces. I should be making my decision on which space I'm renting... this week! I'm really looking forward to the transition. I'll definitely keep you posted.
And stay tuned tomorrow... I've got a TMI Thursday for you! :)
~Jenn
Last night I did a photo shoot with the Spoiled Rotten band! You can click here to check out those photos.
I weighed in at 175 this morning. I have NOT been back on my diet, in fact ate a delicious Qdoba queso burrito last night for dinner. It's been a game of maintenance for the last few weeks, and I feel pretty good about it.
I'm back on the low carb diet today, and it always feels nice to start with bacon and eggs. A lot of you have asked what I eat when I'm on the diet, so I thought I'd kind of review that for you. When you go low carb, the first two weeks should be kept at 20 carbs or under per day. (Atkins rules.) Those 20 grams of carbs per day should primarily come from veggies. There is a list of acceptable foods here. If you find you have a sugar/sweet tooth, or an addiction to all things bread-related, this is a great way to break the cravings. (I'm totally a bread-fiend, so that's why this diet is awesome for me.) After that, you have the option to then increase your carb intake by 5 grams a day each week until your weight loss slows. From there you find your balance, where you can eat healthy whole grains and incorporate more fruit into your eating, and maintain your weight.
I am stocked up on lettuce and chicken and tuna, string cheese and crystal light. When I'm eating low carb, those things are the staples of my diet. When I make dinner for Dan and I, it's usually spaghetti squash with butter and parmesan cheese, or grilled chicken with alfredo sauce or salsa and sour cream. We also really enjoy doing shish-kababs. We grill up steaks and veggies (bell peppers, mushrooms, yellow squash and zucchini) - it's delicious!
In other news, Dan and I are heading down to the Hide House to check out two studio spaces. I should be making my decision on which space I'm renting... this week! I'm really looking forward to the transition. I'll definitely keep you posted.
And stay tuned tomorrow... I've got a TMI Thursday for you! :)
~Jenn
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
My love, my love.
Indeed. Went to see Johnny at the Bradley Center last night, and the show was amazing!
Click here to see all my favorites from the show! Oh yeah, Spearhead opened, and they were awesome!
~J
Click here to see all my favorites from the show! Oh yeah, Spearhead opened, and they were awesome!
~J
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Just a few notes.
Hey guys.
Sorry I've been sparse in the updates lately. There is a lot of change going on in my life, and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on writing here. :( I'm sure it's just a funk and I'll be over it soon.
One, I am keeping Chile in my thoughts. Hold tight, Hawaii. /sigh... I feel like the end of the world is coming.
Two, you should go check out this post at Eating Journey. I've never related to the term "compulsive overeater" but considering how out of control I feel the last few days, it struck a small chord with me. Though I usually won't overeat or stuff myself every day... I definitely am two things: A fast eater, and a carb addict. I eat SO fast... I rarely put my fork down. I often can finish a meal and struggle to remember what it tasted like. Dan reminds me to eat slower, or to put my fork down every once in awhile, but I can. not. do. it.
I haven't gone back to low carb yet (going to the grocery store today), so that's probably why I feel out of control, when in fact I haven't actually been eating THAT badly. I'm maintaining, in fact, back down to 172.8 today.
Three, I'm looking for a new studio space! Here are a few shots of the place I looked at yesterday:
I'm looking at a few other places this week, but I really, really love this space. Lots of colorful walls, around 1600 square feet, and it's a killer rent! The location is really fantastic as well... it's super close to / basically downtown, and it's only about 8 minutes from my house.
Ta-Ta for now,
~Jenn
Sorry I've been sparse in the updates lately. There is a lot of change going on in my life, and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on writing here. :( I'm sure it's just a funk and I'll be over it soon.
One, I am keeping Chile in my thoughts. Hold tight, Hawaii. /sigh... I feel like the end of the world is coming.
Two, you should go check out this post at Eating Journey. I've never related to the term "compulsive overeater" but considering how out of control I feel the last few days, it struck a small chord with me. Though I usually won't overeat or stuff myself every day... I definitely am two things: A fast eater, and a carb addict. I eat SO fast... I rarely put my fork down. I often can finish a meal and struggle to remember what it tasted like. Dan reminds me to eat slower, or to put my fork down every once in awhile, but I can. not. do. it.
I haven't gone back to low carb yet (going to the grocery store today), so that's probably why I feel out of control, when in fact I haven't actually been eating THAT badly. I'm maintaining, in fact, back down to 172.8 today.
Three, I'm looking for a new studio space! Here are a few shots of the place I looked at yesterday:
Ta-Ta for now,
~Jenn
Monday, February 22, 2010
Puffy Mc Pufferson. Bloat.
It happens every time. I lose a fair amount of weight (20 pounds or more,) and all of a sudden, the switch that was switched to make me lose weight in the first place, switches back to "no rules!" Before I know it I awaken from a year-long food coma knee-deep in pringles cans, crusty bowls that once held pots and pots worth of macaroni and cheese, and I have crumbs and frosting on my face.
Well, folks, I feel like I'm at the beginning of that downward slope right now and it's freaking me out. You all need to kick my ass back into gear. I hear too many compliments and it makes me complacent.
I ate well last week. Then, the weekend came and dammit, I ate badly again. At this moment, Dan is making pancakes. I'm eating some when they're ready. I already had two pop tarts this morning and a cookie. Reasoning for this? I'm going to the grocery store and I'll buy my good food and start over tomorrow. So that, of course, means that I can take a bath in crisco tonight and that won't be a problem at all.
I'm still at 174. And the other thing about all of this... is that being at 174 is one pound under 175 which is 50 pounds down from my high weight of 225 in July of 2009. So I feel justified and a little safe to eat bad and screw up and screw around for awhile.
Of course I don't remind myself that I still have 20 pounds until I hit my goal weight. I'm "okay" where I am. It's "fine" because it's not "bad," and people still say I look "good." It doesn't matter that I feel bloated and my ring is cutting back into my finger and my pants feel tight. My face feels puffy and I don't feel proud of myself or good about myself.
So where is the action point? I already don't feel happy about my actions and small weight gain back. And yet, I'm continuing to eat bad today. Will it be the same story next weekend? Or will I kick it in the nuts once and for all?
The thing about the diet I'm on... it's Low Carb. The reason it works so well is that your body goes into Ketosis. You deprive your body of excess carbohydrates, and it goes to the fat reserves for energy. That burns up your stored fat, and you lose weight. The problem is that every time I put bread, pasta, chips, pancakes, fruit, sugar, whatever into my mouth... it basically HALTS my weight loss and my body has to start over at the beginning. That's why this weekly cheating crap has to stop. It makes all my week-long dedication worth practically nothing. Add to that, when I'm on any kind of a diet, I do really REALLY well when I don't have any kind of cheat or taste. We've talked about this before. The reason they say one taste will kill you... is because it reignites your cravings.
UGH!
Maybe this is the struggle I'll be dealing with the rest of my life. Balls.
~J
Well, folks, I feel like I'm at the beginning of that downward slope right now and it's freaking me out. You all need to kick my ass back into gear. I hear too many compliments and it makes me complacent.
I ate well last week. Then, the weekend came and dammit, I ate badly again. At this moment, Dan is making pancakes. I'm eating some when they're ready. I already had two pop tarts this morning and a cookie. Reasoning for this? I'm going to the grocery store and I'll buy my good food and start over tomorrow. So that, of course, means that I can take a bath in crisco tonight and that won't be a problem at all.
I'm still at 174. And the other thing about all of this... is that being at 174 is one pound under 175 which is 50 pounds down from my high weight of 225 in July of 2009. So I feel justified and a little safe to eat bad and screw up and screw around for awhile.
Of course I don't remind myself that I still have 20 pounds until I hit my goal weight. I'm "okay" where I am. It's "fine" because it's not "bad," and people still say I look "good." It doesn't matter that I feel bloated and my ring is cutting back into my finger and my pants feel tight. My face feels puffy and I don't feel proud of myself or good about myself.
So where is the action point? I already don't feel happy about my actions and small weight gain back. And yet, I'm continuing to eat bad today. Will it be the same story next weekend? Or will I kick it in the nuts once and for all?
The thing about the diet I'm on... it's Low Carb. The reason it works so well is that your body goes into Ketosis. You deprive your body of excess carbohydrates, and it goes to the fat reserves for energy. That burns up your stored fat, and you lose weight. The problem is that every time I put bread, pasta, chips, pancakes, fruit, sugar, whatever into my mouth... it basically HALTS my weight loss and my body has to start over at the beginning. That's why this weekly cheating crap has to stop. It makes all my week-long dedication worth practically nothing. Add to that, when I'm on any kind of a diet, I do really REALLY well when I don't have any kind of cheat or taste. We've talked about this before. The reason they say one taste will kill you... is because it reignites your cravings.
UGH!
Maybe this is the struggle I'll be dealing with the rest of my life. Balls.
~J
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