Monday, March 15, 2010

The Ugly Truth and Reader Questions.

I've been totally unmotivated over the last month or so.  I ate badly, then "recommitted" to getting back on track, then let thing after thing pull me off course.

My weight has fluctuated between 168 to 178 over the last month.  Much of that has to do with water weight, as I've gone back and forth from carbohydrate intake to low carbohydrates, and that also includes high amounts of sodium.  I was doing really well, and then my friends came into town to visit me.  That was the excuse to eat badly, along with the fact that my friend Wes (usually my fellow low-carber) was not on plan because of some medications he was taking.  So... here's a sampling of what I ate:

Burger and fries from Culvers
Burger and fried cheese curds from Culvers
One white castle burger and a whole medium movie theater popcorn
Garrett's Chicago mix cheese and caramel popcorn (easily an entire medium bag of it)
Sleeve of ritz crackers
1/2 pound ham and cheese Hot Pocket
Easy Mac
King sized Payday
Three donuts (two of which were creme filled)
Fish tacos (fried fish, not grilled)
Large pub style nachos
Untold amounts of onion rings
Deep-fried mushrooms
Denny's breakfast (awesome omelette and a pancake)
Small plates dinner at Swig, including crab cakes, salad, flatbread, tempura snap peas, breaded three-cheese ravioli and a dessert sampler

Okay.  That's all I can remember, but there obviously has to be even more than that.  Needless to say, this was TOTALLY a week-long binge.  I decided that since I was eating that way anyway, it was my "opportunity" to eat everything I wasn't allowed to eat, and I did it.  And boy did I feel AWFUL after it was all over.  I felt like CRAP.  I felt bloated and uncomfortable.  I had gas and tummy problems, and my face felt fat.  I had water weight and I felt awful peeling off my clothes to take a shower.  It sucked.

Moral?  It's just NOT worth it, y'all.

The official numbers today, March 15th, 2010:
5'6.5", 174 lbs
Bust = 39.5
Waist = 32
Hips = 41.5

I've been back on my low carb program with a vengeance for two days, and I feel SO MUCH BETTER, it's not even funny.  I've also come across a new program, and I'm going to look into it a little bit more before I decide if I'm going to try it.  I'll share with you guys in a bit.

I'm going to Cancun on vacation mid May.  I have eight weeks, and I'm really curious to see how much weight I can melt off in that two month timeframe.  Skinnier me + bikini?  HERE I COME!

SO.  Now I wanted to take some time to answer some questions I've gotten!

Q:  How is the studio hunt going with all the other busy happenings?
A:  I put in my application for the space I posted before, and should hear tomorrow, I think!  If things go well I will be aiming for move-in by April 1st or so.

Q:  Do you do a lot of studio work?
A:  I do a fair amount.  It averages around a shoot a week.  But, a large reason for that is my dissatisfaction with my current studio space.  Once I move to a more real, professional space... I will be able to really push and market my studio work. :)

Q:  My advice is to work out.  Do you work out?  You should work out!
A:  My gym membership is soon to be canceled (at $80/month!) I haven't been there in over four months.  I loath working out.  I've considered getting back into Krav, but I can't make a financial commitment when I know I won't do it.  I've gone into and out of so many workout programs, but I can NOT commit to it.  I seriously, seriously hate it.

Q:  Are you happy with your current weight?  Who holds you accountable?
A;  I'm happier with my current weight than I ever was with weighing 225.  It's a false happiness, because I really want to lose another 20-30 pounds.  But when I fit into these size 10 jeans and I am 50 pounds down from where I was before... I feel "okay."  I am my only accountability.  You guys are a huge support system, and I feel reluctant to post when I slip or eat wrong or gain weight.  But aside from that, I have no diet/working out/fitness buddy or anything like that.

Q:  Why are there Pop Tarts in your house?
A:  Unfortunately, I don't live alone, and I refuse to let my food weaknesses be a reason to go postal on Dan's food choices.  He can eat Pop Tarts if he wants to, and it's not his fault, or his problem, if I am not strong enough to NOT EAT THEM.

Q:  Can you post some low-carb recipes?
A:  Well, yes and no.  Just because low carb eating is SO super simple... I don't really go nuts in cooking.  What I can do is post some more detailed info on what I eat and a few options for each meal.  I like to keep it sweet and simple.  Keep an eye out for that post soon!

Ta-ta- for now!


PS... Thank you, THANK YOU to all of you who have been so kind as to bestow a blog award upon me over the last few weeks.  I am way too behind to come by and grab them and re-distribute, but I should just say that it does mean a lot and I LOVE that you're thinking of me.  Thank you!


Julia said...

Welcome back!


Lisa Ursu said...

I ate 3 Kit-Kat chocolate bars in a row last week,
and that's all i'm able to confess to at the moment.

The Insatiable Host said...

I am pmsing like a muthaf!!! and I had fries supreme today and 2 felt great going down...the mile walk to my mothers felt gross...but what was great was, my pms is less and i walked a mile!

hope you're great!


Michaela @ CupcakesToCarrotSticks said...

I have had many week long binges before so I totally get it. Glad you are back on track though!!

Claire said...

Happens to the best of us, girl.

May I make a suggestion? I've been doing a lot of research on health and food, and I highly recommend "Eat to Live" and "Eat for Health" by Joel Fuhrman, M.D. Great program to lose weight, be optimally healthy and live cancer-free. Just can't recommend it enough. :)

Also, I rented a movie called "Food Matters" that also contributed to changing the way I think and feel about eating.

Anonymous said...

I know what you're going through. I went through about three months of really not caring, starting with my finals at the beginning of December and ending 2 weeks ago. Thankfully I've been back on the wagon for two weeks and I'm 6lbs down. Whoo! Good luck and I hope whatever method you choose works for you!! :)

Claire Dawn said...

You're welcome. And welcome back. Good luck getting back on track!

-Claire Dawn

carla said...

did my comment take?
the rambles about WELCOME BACK & LOW CARB LIVING?


Runnergirl said...

I think that actually holding yourself accountable is the best way - it's a big responsibility and not fair to place on someone else's shoulders. I've never gone the low carb route as I do work out, and I believe in a balanced diet rather than a restrictive one, but it's good to find something that works for you - everyone is different. Good luck with that bikini body - I have 4 weeks to lose as much as possible myself...

MegFordice said...

I am super jealous that you are going to Cancun. I am dying for sand, ocean, and hot sun. Dying.

Maybe you shouldn't think of it as "working out", but just going outside for a walk 5 days a week. :)

Amy said...

we've missed you! it happens to all of us though. anyone who's blogged as long as we have is bound to fall off the motivation wagon a time or two, or 100!

i had no idea you hated exercise. now i have to go rummage through your archives to see how the hell you lost all that weight without it! wtf? ;)

Sarah said...

Glad to have you back!!! Can't wait to see what ideas you post for low carb.

Anonymous said...

It's always great to hear from you! I hate exercising too! :) Its nice to hear someone else say it too. I'm easing into it (if playing with my wii counts) but nothing official as to join a gym...I just can't afford it & won't go!

hope the studio space works out!

Melanie said...

Yeah, working out sucks! But it is something I have to force myself to do since I obviously refuse to control what goes in my mouth. I am finding that alternatives to the gym are the way to go.

I recently blogged about this trampoline arena that offers an "AIRobics" class. Seriously the funnest thing I have EVER done! To top it off, I was sweating buckets by the time we got to the first break, and I didn't even notice I was tired! I live in the Seattle area, so hopefully you can find something cool like this in your hometown...

Carrie said...

The important thing is that you have close to maintained your loss. I've heard again and again that losing the weight is not the hard part, keeping it off is (this has always been the kicker for me). You can do this Jen! You are focused and determined. Life is going to happen, binges are going to happen, we just have to keep moving forward towards our goals and let the little hurdles fall behind us.

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

Garrett's mixed popcorn is the stuff of the devil!!!

Glad you are pressing re-set on your weight loss and pressing ahead!

rachaelgking said...

I know I should be supportive, but really, I'm just jealous of all that deliciosity. This diet is KILLING ME.

*dreams of cheeseburgers*

Kari said...

I definitely hear ya! I recently lost about 20 lbs and felt GREAT! However, after a few weekend trips and lots of eating out (not-so-healthy eating out), I had gained back half of what I lost. There were days that I felt miserably bloated which led to me being completely depressed and angry at the world! It's true, though...once you get back on track, you start to feel better. Hang in there. One minor setback...but vacation is always good motivation to be better!

Mishy said...

don't think of it as a diet, think of it as changing your lifestyle.

a week of binge-eating isn't gonna kill you, (hopefully), but it's not gonna get you any closer to your goal either.

Loving my Complicated Life! said...

Good to have you back! I have missed you! Thanks for your honesty. How the heck did you remember all of it.

BTW... I saw Chris Thile perform with the Winston-Salem Symphony in NC. IT WAS PHENOMENAL!!!! He really is amazing.

Keep us posted on how everything is going for you!


Crystal said...

I am so with you on hating exercise. I hate it so much. I was working out 7 days a week for the first 2 months of my diet and I burned myself out. I reduced to 5, then 3, and now I haven't worked out in two weeks. I'm still losing weight and sticking to my diet like a champ I just HATE working out.

I'm glad you splurged a bit, I think that's good sometimes. And it's even better that you are back on track! :)

Wikked Wit said...

I am totally unmotivated, too! I was 125 last year, then had baby, now 155. UGH!!! Being tired, alone with baby while hubbys away, and having crappy weather...its hard to get up and go to gym. Plus, the hubby is a snack fiend and always is buying junk food. I just need to eat better too! Blech. No fun. haha

I love your blog! So I gave you an award!! :)