Thursday, March 18, 2010

WHY, Dammit!!??

So, here's the thing.  I need to remind you people of the awesomeness that is Jack Sh*t.  If you haven't read, heard, loved... then get out from unda yo rock and go check him out, and follow him.  He just hit his 1000 blog followers, and you don't want to be Lamey-lame-pants-McGee and not follow too, right?  Right.

So, I was reading Sue's blog (obvi...), and she mentioned this post that Jack did.  And I've been slow and forgetful and blah lately, so I'm taking this moment to steal this idea ('cause I'm supposed to, alright?) and answer some very important questions.  This is also to buy me more time to come up with some great Low Carb recipes for you people.  Because right now all I can think of to say is "bacon," and that's probably not a good idea.

Why are you here anyway?

 Because it's really the only way this weight loss thing is going to work.  I've done it myself before but I had nobody to be accountable to.  The sense of community is insane.  I know we've talked about it, but... the number of times you all have given me advice and calmed me down after a bad weigh in, or any number of other things we tweet or facebook or comment or e-mail about all the time?  It kicks the crap out of saying, "Hey honey, could you please stop offering me custard?  'Cause I'm on a DIET," eight thousand times.  And the more I think about it, the more you people remind me of a really, really cool BDSM master.  You virtually spank me with a no-more-pasta-paddle and pour weight-loss-wax on me, and then you kiss me on the head and tell me I'm a good girl.  So, ...thanks for that.  It makes me not want to eat as much cake, and eat more salad instead.  I know I have to report to you.

If you’re making it, if you’re succeeding on this weight-loss journey, tell me why this time is different than all the others.

I'm over half-way to goal, so I'd consider that fairly successful.  This time HAS to be different than all the others, 'cause I'm really tired of fighting my fat.  I don't want to be on a diet for the rest of my life.  I don't want to lament in ten years because I dropped this whole deal and decided to just embrace my affair with bread, and screw the world, 'cause I love pasta!  No.  It's this weight loss family that helps me keep on track.  It's fear of fighting these pounds until the end of time that makes me want to lose them, and keep them off of my body. 

Why are you going to make it this time when you’ve fallen short before.

I don't know what you mean by "make it."  Does that mean hitting my ultimate goal weight?  Does that mean getting out of the "overweight" category and down to the "normal" category of the BMI chart?  Does that mean not going on another travel-induced-carb binge?  Well... I hope so.  I wish I could predict my weight loss future, but... there are too many variables.  That's because I'm not strong enough to actually work out five days a week and eat nothing but salad and chicken.  I've decided to live my life as well.  So, that means things happen, and plans are foiled.  What I CAN say is that I've been doing this weight loss blog for about a year now, and it's one of the best things that's happened to me.  For my brain, and my butt.

Why are you going to keep it off this time when you’ve gained it back before.

 I swear to Mary, I hope this is the last one.  I lost 50 pounds before and gained it all back.  I think the realization that I DID that... is one that will really force me to keep a close eye on myself this time around.  The comfort of a good relationship with a thin man who can eat whatever the hell he wants... it's not reason enough to forget I have a battle to win.  And beyond that... I should even stop looking at it as a "battle."  I use lots of warfare words, it seems.  I'll probably be able to focus on loving my body instead of fighting with it when I'm able to maintain a weight for an extended period of time.

Why are you a different person now than you were before?

I'm more aware of my body, and how food affects me.  I'm more aware of my obsessions with weight and food and eating and how damn good chocolate cake can taste.  I'm more conscious that there are a ton of people out there just like me in this process.  I've found out that my small steps in the right direction, and progress from a size 18 to a size 10 has actually inspired some people.  I've developed the ability to genuinely care about other women through this whole thing.  Oh, and I'm skinnier.




Mrs. Prissy Pants said...

I read your blog constantly and you are such an inspiration to me. I have struggled with my weight all my life. Last year I worked my tail off to lose 10 pounds and then last month the doctor put me on an oral steriod and I gained it all back in a WEEK. I can't get it off. I am eating right and working out daily. Any advice?

rachaelgking said...

Love this, lady friend. I'm hoping this round will be the last battle for me, too. :-)

Unknown said...

Just being honest ('cause I love ya) are more likely to gain the weight back if you think of it as a diet instead of a lifestyle change. You're not going to be able to get to your goal and then just start eating whatever, whenever, and however much. I have sworn off sugar, white flour, and white rice for LIFE. I'm never going to eat them. In the first few months after going off them I cheated a few times and was able to see the profound effect that they had on my body and learned that I just can't eat them. Period.

I was mad about that for awhile, but now I've totally found healthy substitutions that satisfy my cravings and more importantly, don't make my blood sugar spike. People have asked how long I'm going to be on my "diet," and I reply that it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change.

Cole Walter Mellon said...

Great, though-provoking post (I woulda said it even if you hadn't slathered me with sweet-talk)...

Janie Woods said...

I know I don't give you the comment love you give me, but I DO love your blog! You are such an inspiration to so many people out here!! Mwuh!

Kat said...

You have a great blog, and I enjoy coming here to read what you've written. I also love the fact that you posted about Jack Sh*t today...1000 followers. Wow. I wanna be him when I grow up!