Thursday, January 28, 2010

TMI Thursday: Butts and Cats.

I do apologize for having not done a TMI Thursday in a while.  Unfortunately my life is devoid of really embarrassing things.  But, I have something great to share with you today!

TMI Thursday

This week, as normal, Dan decided to try to get one of our cats, Mocha, to lay on me.  Sometimes the cats need a little coaxing to cuddle, and though I normally don't care, Dan will go nuts trying to get them to lay down on my lap.  It gets to the point that the cats usually end up fighting him, and scratching me, when I was only minding my own damn business in the first place.

Well last night, Dan got Mocha to come lay on my lap while I was laying on the couch.  I mainly think it was because I was covered up with this really super soft blanket that the cats love.  She didn't stay put for very long, and Dan tried to grab her but she pushed away from him with her back side.  Dan scooted closer to me and I noticed a smell.  Not just any smell, but the smell of POOP.  I looked at him and asked, "What is that smell!?"  He said, "What smell?"  I said, "I swear, Mocha just got poop on your arm."

He put his forearm up to my face and told me to check.  Now, normally, I would NOT oblige this request, but Dan has a sort of... impaired sense of smell.  So, it was up to me.  So, I sniffed it, and yep, it smelled distinctly and grossly like cat ass.

Dan got up from the couch and said, "Dammit, Mocha!"  It was nasty, but I was laughing at him.

AND... it doesn't end there.  Before going to wash his arm off, Dan went over to where Mocha was laying on the couch next to me.  He promptly pulled down his pants and boxers and rubbed his bare ass on her.  For some reason, she didn't move, but just looked really confused.  He rubbed his ass cheeks on her and said, "Take that!  That's what you get!  Put poop on me?  TAKE THAT!"

I was laughing so hard, you guys.  It almost makes it bearable that the soft blanket also smells like cat ass.  I love Dan.  And it's only appropriate I share this today because it's his birthday! :)


~  Jenn

26 comments:

Becca55 said...

omg that is great I cant stop laughing...

Becca55 said...

oh ps... Happy Birthday Dan!!!

Ink Spiller said...

That's so funny I can't stop laughing. If I was game enough I would try it on my cats. Well maybe not.

Happy birthday to Dan. We share birthdays him and I.

Runnergirl said...

Ha ha ha! What superb revenge! One of our cats, Maud, always decides to come and sit on me about 5 minutes before I'm about to get up and go to bed. I actually find having her on my lap a very good deterrent to wandering into the kitchen to find something to snack on!

carla said...

happu birthday dan!!

and the rest? I shall just say Im a dog lover :)

MrsFatass said...

Aww. I love this story. Happy Birthday Dan!!

Linguista said...

Happy birthday Dan! Way to get your own back!

Jenn, it's amusing that you start a TMI with "I've got a great one for you!" lol!

How was swimsuit shopping with Jules?

JewliaGoulia said...

*sick!*

Dear Lord that's hilarious! Hahaha!

"Take that! Take that!" lol

Happy Birthday Dan!

Julia
http://jewliagoulia.blosgpot.com

Stephanie said...

Oh my god! That is freaking hilarious! Brought me to tears, I swear.

GregoryJ said...

funny story, and so vivid, I even smelled it. Oh, sorry, that was me.
when will he learn.
Happy Birthday, Dan.

Taylorvillegirl said...

That is hilarious!

Sarah said...

That was to funny!!!! Happy Birthday Dan!!!

Later Never Exists said...

Oh that is GOOD!!!!

Wow! He really went there didn't he?

I will admit, I have been known to fart in a dog's face before. He used to come sit beside you and rip one and then walk away and leave. Finally one day I got fed up with it and farted in his direction!!!

LOL Happy Birthday Dan!

Pat said...

This is hysterical! I will definitely share this, uh, ass-smelling-sharing-thingy with my daughter. She has three cats, one of whom has stinky ass problems. Although I can't see my daughter dropping her drawers and rubbing her ass on things, I can SO see my son-in-law doing it. He is such a goof!

carissajaded said...

HAHAHA great post!! It reminds me of the time I took a road trip with my dog. She was on my lap for the entire trip, and I couldn't stop smelling poo. When I finally thought to investigate, I had poo smears all over my leg!

Tania said...

That's hilarious! And what's even more funny is that my boyfriend would so do that to one of our cats! What men we have. Lol, I wouldn't change it for anything. It keeps life interesting!

Ex Yo-Yo Dieter Debbie said...

EWWWWWWW!

That's too many smelly asses for me! Yuck!

But Happy Birthday to your husband!

Just watch out - you might be the next target!

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Oh shit that's fucking ingenious! I applaud Dan!

justjuliebean said...

Awesome! Thanks for the laugh so early in the morning! Wish Dan a happy birthday, and thanks for being nutty! This is probably TMI, but since nobody but you will probably read it, we once used a sleeping cat to clean up a wet spot. It's protein, right, it's good for her!

KellyGrrl said...

OMG - way too funny... I know exactly the smell you are talking about... My boy cat gets it from time to time... HORRIBLE. hahaha!!!!!!!!!

P said...

The mental image of a dude rubbing his ass cheeks on a cat is just too much! So funny!

Tina said...

ROFLMAO!! I am sitting here in the dark silence of daycare naptime...read that and bust out laughing, could not help myself! That is freakin funny! One little girl jumped up, then laid back down to sleep. Thank God I did not wake anyone...I am still laughing, and now I have to pee! LOL LOL LOL

j3nn.net said...

LOL! That's hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

Jenn

Nicholas Crawford said...

Way to go, Dan! You're the cat's ass!

Crystal said...

Haha. Freaking hilarious.

I wonder if she expressed her anal glands. Cat's do that sometimes when they get mad or stressed.

Yeah...I'm sure you wanted that useless info.

Zan said...

I was okay until I read Crystal's comment about expression of the anal glands....*blarrrrghhhh*

Happy Birthday, Dan!