Nonsense.

Well, first of all, I am seeming to have some issues with my comment moderator for this blog.  My dashboard is telling me I have three comments to moderate, but when I click on the link, it says that I have no comments to moderate.  Prior to that, for a few hours it actually brought up fourteen comments from 2009 that had already been moderated.

So.  I'm sorry if some of you guys have commented and it hasn't come through to me. :(  Hopefully this post isn't the same!

So, on to the nonsense.  I went shopping today with Jewlia Goulia and we had a blast as usual.  It was great to spend time with her!  I told her about an article I read because of one of my favorite bloggers over at Casual Blasphemies.  You can read her contempt for the crap article here.  I'm warning you, it's not pretty.  This article is a supposed "ettiquite guide" in dealing with obese people.  It gives such jewels of advice as:

- When extending invitations, avoid situations where there are only folding chairs. Chairs without arms are easier to get on and off. Couches can be scary.
- Check that restaurants have chairs without arms, and tables rather than booths.
- Be wary of activities that require a lot of walking or standing. You would do the same for anyone with a walker or wheelchair.
- Suggest that you are the one who needs to stop for a rest, if you're walking with an obese person. It doesn't have to be obvious.

So.  Let me get this straight.  Anyone who isn't obese should keep these things in mind for obese people, right?  Okay.  So, apparently all obese people are terrified of couches, so maybe we should all get really really tall ones that are built like a brick.  Or maybe just piles of bricks.  With really strong, supportive mortar, and thick pillows on the top.  That would hold.  We should definitely never expect an obese friend to be able to sit in a chair with arms, that's just cruel.  Folding chairs are totally unacceptable, 'cause obviously anyone who is obese would crush one to smithereens.  But now I'm confused, 'cause chairs without arms are easier to get on and off?  Wait.  Does that mean easier to pull off of an obese ass after it's come up with the person, or easier to get up off of the chair itself?

Okay.  So, we should also call ahead to restaurants to verify their seating situation, so as to avoid a booth-crushing episode.  In the same light, we should also be sure to assume that any and all of our obese friends are incapable of walking moderate to long distances.  No more shopping at the mall, going to the zoo or walking around to see nice holiday lights in other neighborhoods.  We should treat them like they're handicapped!  Let's be sure to find the closest parking spaces when we visit places.  We should also make sure to have walkers and canes on hand, just in case they look like they're going to fall over from pure exhaustion at any point.

And so as to not make a spectacle of their obese condition, we should definitely be fake and patronizing, and suggest that we are the ones who need to stop and take a walking break, just in case we somehow end up in a situation that requires us to move.  After all, all people who are obese are incapable of exercise, and definitely can't walk around without taking a break.

This article is a ridiculous shame.  It starts out with the intent being pretty decent... as in, let's try to make the world more aware that treating people like shit based on their appearance is a crap thing to do.  Yes.  I'm on board with that.  But then it turns into a sorry excuse for an article and perpetuates the idea that you can assume someone's physical abilities based on their appearance.

Anyone else want to send this woman a  letter?  'Cause I'm pretty sure that fat people are more than capable of exercise, and yes, that includes (gasp!) walking.  I don't think I've ever heard ANY obese person say that couches scare them, or ever make references to various types of seating as "need-to-avoid."  And I'm also pretty damn sure that obese individuals do NOT need fake assed favors.

~Jenn

WHY, Dammit!!??

So, here's the thing.  I need to remind you people of the awesomeness that is Jack Sh*t.  If you haven't read, heard, loved... then get out from unda yo rock and go check him out, and follow him.  He just hit his 1000 blog followers, and you don't want to be Lamey-lame-pants-McGee and not follow too, right?  Right.

So, I was reading Sue's blog (obvi...), and she mentioned this post that Jack did.  And I've been slow and forgetful and blah lately, so I'm taking this moment to steal this idea ('cause I'm supposed to, alright?) and answer some very important questions.  This is also to buy me more time to come up with some great Low Carb recipes for you people.  Because right now all I can think of to say is "bacon," and that's probably not a good idea.



Why are you here anyway?

 Because it's really the only way this weight loss thing is going to work.  I've done it myself before but I had nobody to be accountable to.  The sense of community is insane.  I know we've talked about it, but... the number of times you all have given me advice and calmed me down after a bad weigh in, or any number of other things we tweet or facebook or comment or e-mail about all the time?  It kicks the crap out of saying, "Hey honey, could you please stop offering me custard?  'Cause I'm on a DIET," eight thousand times.  And the more I think about it, the more you people remind me of a really, really cool BDSM master.  You virtually spank me with a no-more-pasta-paddle and pour weight-loss-wax on me, and then you kiss me on the head and tell me I'm a good girl.  So, ...thanks for that.  It makes me not want to eat as much cake, and eat more salad instead.  I know I have to report to you.


If you’re making it, if you’re succeeding on this weight-loss journey, tell me why this time is different than all the others.

I'm over half-way to goal, so I'd consider that fairly successful.  This time HAS to be different than all the others, 'cause I'm really tired of fighting my fat.  I don't want to be on a diet for the rest of my life.  I don't want to lament in ten years because I dropped this whole deal and decided to just embrace my affair with bread, and screw the world, 'cause I love pasta!  No.  It's this weight loss family that helps me keep on track.  It's fear of fighting these pounds until the end of time that makes me want to lose them, and keep them off of my body. 


Why are you going to make it this time when you’ve fallen short before.

I don't know what you mean by "make it."  Does that mean hitting my ultimate goal weight?  Does that mean getting out of the "overweight" category and down to the "normal" category of the BMI chart?  Does that mean not going on another travel-induced-carb binge?  Well... I hope so.  I wish I could predict my weight loss future, but... there are too many variables.  That's because I'm not strong enough to actually work out five days a week and eat nothing but salad and chicken.  I've decided to live my life as well.  So, that means things happen, and plans are foiled.  What I CAN say is that I've been doing this weight loss blog for about a year now, and it's one of the best things that's happened to me.  For my brain, and my butt.


Why are you going to keep it off this time when you’ve gained it back before.

 I swear to Mary, I hope this is the last one.  I lost 50 pounds before and gained it all back.  I think the realization that I DID that... is one that will really force me to keep a close eye on myself this time around.  The comfort of a good relationship with a thin man who can eat whatever the hell he wants... it's not reason enough to forget I have a battle to win.  And beyond that... I should even stop looking at it as a "battle."  I use lots of warfare words, it seems.  I'll probably be able to focus on loving my body instead of fighting with it when I'm able to maintain a weight for an extended period of time.


Why are you a different person now than you were before?

I'm more aware of my body, and how food affects me.  I'm more aware of my obsessions with weight and food and eating and how damn good chocolate cake can taste.  I'm more conscious that there are a ton of people out there just like me in this process.  I've found out that my small steps in the right direction, and progress from a size 18 to a size 10 has actually inspired some people.  I've developed the ability to genuinely care about other women through this whole thing.  Oh, and I'm skinnier.

:)

~J

The Ugly Truth and Reader Questions.

I've been totally unmotivated over the last month or so.  I ate badly, then "recommitted" to getting back on track, then let thing after thing pull me off course.

My weight has fluctuated between 168 to 178 over the last month.  Much of that has to do with water weight, as I've gone back and forth from carbohydrate intake to low carbohydrates, and that also includes high amounts of sodium.  I was doing really well, and then my friends came into town to visit me.  That was the excuse to eat badly, along with the fact that my friend Wes (usually my fellow low-carber) was not on plan because of some medications he was taking.  So... here's a sampling of what I ate:

Burger and fries from Culvers
Burger and fried cheese curds from Culvers
One white castle burger and a whole medium movie theater popcorn
Garrett's Chicago mix cheese and caramel popcorn (easily an entire medium bag of it)
Sleeve of ritz crackers
1/2 pound ham and cheese Hot Pocket
Easy Mac
King sized Payday
Three donuts (two of which were creme filled)
Fish tacos (fried fish, not grilled)
Large pub style nachos
Untold amounts of onion rings
Deep-fried mushrooms
Denny's breakfast (awesome omelette and a pancake)
Small plates dinner at Swig, including crab cakes, salad, flatbread, tempura snap peas, breaded three-cheese ravioli and a dessert sampler


Okay.  That's all I can remember, but there obviously has to be even more than that.  Needless to say, this was TOTALLY a week-long binge.  I decided that since I was eating that way anyway, it was my "opportunity" to eat everything I wasn't allowed to eat, and I did it.  And boy did I feel AWFUL after it was all over.  I felt like CRAP.  I felt bloated and uncomfortable.  I had gas and tummy problems, and my face felt fat.  I had water weight and I felt awful peeling off my clothes to take a shower.  It sucked.

Moral?  It's just NOT worth it, y'all.

The official numbers today, March 15th, 2010:
5'6.5", 174 lbs
Bust = 39.5
Waist = 32
Hips = 41.5

I've been back on my low carb program with a vengeance for two days, and I feel SO MUCH BETTER, it's not even funny.  I've also come across a new program, and I'm going to look into it a little bit more before I decide if I'm going to try it.  I'll share with you guys in a bit.

I'm going to Cancun on vacation mid May.  I have eight weeks, and I'm really curious to see how much weight I can melt off in that two month timeframe.  Skinnier me + bikini?  HERE I COME!


SO.  Now I wanted to take some time to answer some questions I've gotten!


Q:  How is the studio hunt going with all the other busy happenings?
A:  I put in my application for the space I posted before, and should hear tomorrow, I think!  If things go well I will be aiming for move-in by April 1st or so.

Q:  Do you do a lot of studio work?
A:  I do a fair amount.  It averages around a shoot a week.  But, a large reason for that is my dissatisfaction with my current studio space.  Once I move to a more real, professional space... I will be able to really push and market my studio work. :)

Q:  My advice is to work out.  Do you work out?  You should work out!
A:  My gym membership is soon to be canceled (at $80/month!) I haven't been there in over four months.  I loath working out.  I've considered getting back into Krav, but I can't make a financial commitment when I know I won't do it.  I've gone into and out of so many workout programs, but I can NOT commit to it.  I seriously, seriously hate it.


Q:  Are you happy with your current weight?  Who holds you accountable?
A;  I'm happier with my current weight than I ever was with weighing 225.  It's a false happiness, because I really want to lose another 20-30 pounds.  But when I fit into these size 10 jeans and I am 50 pounds down from where I was before... I feel "okay."  I am my only accountability.  You guys are a huge support system, and I feel reluctant to post when I slip or eat wrong or gain weight.  But aside from that, I have no diet/working out/fitness buddy or anything like that.

Q:  Why are there Pop Tarts in your house?
A:  Unfortunately, I don't live alone, and I refuse to let my food weaknesses be a reason to go postal on Dan's food choices.  He can eat Pop Tarts if he wants to, and it's not his fault, or his problem, if I am not strong enough to NOT EAT THEM.

Q:  Can you post some low-carb recipes?
A:  Well, yes and no.  Just because low carb eating is SO super simple... I don't really go nuts in cooking.  What I can do is post some more detailed info on what I eat and a few options for each meal.  I like to keep it sweet and simple.  Keep an eye out for that post soon!


Ta-ta- for now!

~J

PS... Thank you, THANK YOU to all of you who have been so kind as to bestow a blog award upon me over the last few weeks.  I am way too behind to come by and grab them and re-distribute, but I should just say that it does mean a lot and I LOVE that you're thinking of me.  Thank you!

The Popcorn and the Friends.

Hello lovely readers!

I've noticed I'm 3 followers away from hitting 2000 on my blog.  MADNESS!  I'd like to give Blogs of Note another thank-you shout-out for making me a Blog of Note.  Just crazy how things go sometimes!  And it's AWESOME to have all you guys around to read and comment and help me when I need help and give advice and such.

Well!  Sorry for the lack of updating.  (I realize that I say that a lot.)  It's been a crazy week.  I saw John Mayer at the Bradley Center here in Milwaukee, then I saw Chris Thile and the Punch Brothers three times over the course of four days.  I also shot a wedding!  Add in to that mix my Brother coming out for three days, and my two best friends coming out for a week, and you've got a VERY busy Jenn.

I wanted to share some photos with you all.  You can click here to see all the gorgeous wedding shots.



Wes, Daniel and Jesse hanging out with us, eating some seafood!

I had the BEST cribbage hand after the concert.  Anybody out there play?  Can you figure out how many points this is!?  Crazy.









Punch Brothers.  /le-sigh.












Us out with a few new friends from Chicago!... VERY drunk at this point.










One of the best things about Chicago is the FOG.  It was so beautiful!















SO!  In terms of eating, I've gone back to a sort of maintenance mode.  Friends in town who want to try all the great local eats... it's really hard.  Wes does low carb and he's taking a little break too.  Of course that gives me freedom to not only eat the fish fry, but to have the Chicago mix popcorn and the White Castle burgers too.  I also had a piece of wedding cake on Saturday, and some bread and rice.

I'm feeling okay though.  I'm still around 173.  :)

~Jenn

TMI Thursday: Would you rather?

It's been a long time, but... I had an "episode" this week, and I HAD to share it with you guys.  So, here it goes.




Monday I ran a few errands.  Starbucks, grocery store, bank, etc.  I decided to do a bit of driving around to look at a couple of places I would consider for a future studio, blah blah blah, and I headed back to the other side of town to hit the post office before a consult I had.  As I was about five minutes from the Post Office, I started to get... that feeling.

You know.  The rumbly, tumbly, farty feeling in your stomach.  The one that makes you squinch your face in confusion.  The one that makes you tuck your gut and clench your butt.  The one that you hope will pass.  The one that makes you think, "What the hell did I eat?"  I shifted in my seat and made an uncomfortable pout, and after a few blocks, realized that the feeling wasn't going away.  Alas... it was not a mere gas bubble.

It hit me that I had to, HAD to find a bathroom, or I'd shart myself.

Where I was driving, there were two options:  Walgreens, or McDonalds.  I knew that the bathroom all the way at the back of the Walgreens would likely be too far.  I couldn't risk it.

And here's the problem:  I HATE McDonalds.  After Supersize Me and McLibel, I'm disgusted by the company.  I loathe everything about them, their food, their ethics, the way they treat their employees, the garbage they market to children and the suppliers of their meat.  (Another story for another day.)

I haven't stepped foot inside a McDonalds in over a year and a half.  The other problem is that I feel guilty using the bathroom somewhere and not being a "customer."  Usually if I stop on a road trip at a gas station or restaurant, I buy something, at least a Diet Coke or a pack of gum or something.  But I definitely wasn't going to do that there.  And so, suddenly, I was forced with that grand daddy question:  "Would you rather?"  You know.  Would you rather immerse your naked body in a bathtub of cockroaches or dive naked head first into a pool of tobacco spit?  Would you rather chew a piece of toenail off of a dirty man's foot, or thoroughly lick his un-showered armpit?

So, it was:  Would you rather go into McDonalds, or shit your pants?

You guys, I marched waddled my clenched ass right into that McDonalds.  And it was beautiful.  Well, it wasn't beautiful.  But I felt a whole hell of a lot better.  And I left without buying anything.  Now I can say that I don't give McDonald's my money.  I only give them my crap when I really, really can't hold it.

~J

Photos and Bacon.

I think that's what my life is made of, and that's a pretty good deal!

Last night I did a photo shoot with the Spoiled Rotten band!  You can click here to check out those photos.




I weighed in at 175 this morning.  I have NOT been back on my diet, in fact ate a delicious Qdoba queso burrito last night for dinner.  It's been a game of maintenance for the last few weeks, and I feel pretty good about it.

I'm back on the low carb diet today, and it always feels nice to start with bacon and eggs.  A lot of you have asked what I eat when I'm on the diet, so I thought I'd kind of review that for you.  When you go low carb, the first two weeks should be kept at 20 carbs or under per day.  (Atkins rules.)  Those 20 grams of carbs per day should primarily come from veggies.  There is a list of acceptable foods here.  If you find you have a sugar/sweet tooth, or an addiction to all things bread-related, this is a great way to break the cravings.  (I'm totally a bread-fiend, so that's why this diet is awesome for me.)  After that, you have the option to then increase your carb intake by 5 grams a day each week until your weight loss slows.  From there you find your balance, where you can eat healthy whole grains and incorporate more fruit into your eating, and maintain your weight.

I am stocked up on lettuce and chicken and tuna, string cheese and crystal light.  When I'm eating low carb, those things are the staples of my diet.  When I make dinner for Dan and I, it's usually spaghetti squash with butter and parmesan cheese, or grilled chicken with alfredo sauce or salsa and sour cream.  We also really enjoy doing shish-kababs.  We grill up steaks and veggies (bell peppers, mushrooms, yellow squash and zucchini) - it's delicious!

In other news, Dan and I are heading down to the Hide House to check out two studio spaces.  I should be making my decision on which space I'm renting... this week!  I'm really looking forward to the transition.  I'll definitely keep you posted.

And stay tuned tomorrow... I've got a TMI Thursday for you! :)

~Jenn

My love, my love.

Indeed.  Went to see Johnny at the Bradley Center last night, and the show was amazing!

Click here to see all my favorites from the show!  Oh yeah, Spearhead opened, and they were awesome!

~J